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Title: The Vampire Diaries S2.E02 “Brave New World”
Released: 2010

Due to gross negligence on my part, Drinking Game Rules were omitted from last week’s post. I’m going to leave it at that, because if season 2 turns out to be anything like season 1, the shirtlessness alone will put me under the table. (Note to CW, please, please let season 2 be like season 1 in that regard.)

Moving on, nothing but spoilers after this point!


First of all, what the heck?!!! No Katherine OR Alaric?!!!! (Or Aunt Jenna, but that’s not unusual.)

OMG!!! Caroline wants the blood bag! No! She hates the blood bag! No she LOVES the blood bag! Poor vampire Caroline!

It’s the Mystic Fall Fair, or something. Bonnie, why don’t you leave poor Elena alone. Nag, nag, nag. Elena doesn’t know WHY Katherine is her doppelganger.

Girl got her bitch face on.

Now Stefan is FINALLY explaining why vervain is poison to vampires! YAY! Oh, that’s your explanation, CW? It just IS? LAME.

Now let’s check in and see what Damon is doing. Hmmm, he’s talking to the dead mayor’s wife! And she wants him to head up the council to protect the town from vampires! Oh, dead mayor’s wife, you so stupid! And Tyler and Uncle Benicio del Toro just came in from running! And Tyler is shirtless! Drink! They talk about their feelings, you know, the ones of RAGE, because they’re WEREWOLVES, which you and me and everyone else in life already KNOWS, except, obvs. not you, Tyler.

Back to Caroline in the hospital, and the sun is burning her. Because she’s a vampire. And she’s hurt poor Matt’s feelings by acting all weird. Poor, poor vampire Caroline.

Now Damon and Stefan are back at the Salvatore mansion, and Damon is quipping away. But Damon tells Stefan that the mayor’s family has a secret. Psst! Damon! Werewolves! They’re werewolves! (You know, it’ll be funny if it turns out I’m wrong about this.)

Back to Caroline, who, despite the freaking out, is still doing better at handling the transition than Vicki. It’s okay, Caroline, people don’t mind if you eat them a little, as long as you keep saying you’re sorry.

Back to the fair: Ha! Twilight reference! And Bonnie’s got her flirt on. Let’s hope this one isn’t a vampire like the last one, Bonnie!

Tyler walks in on Uncle Benicio going through his dead dad’s stuff. And Uncle Benicio says he’s looking for a moonstone that was his mom’s or something. But Tyler doesn’t believe him. We can tell by the way his eyes shift around the room after Uncle Benicio leaves.

Uh-oh, back at the carnival, Damon and the COTEP (Cousin Of The Eternal Pout) have words, in which Damon shows the COTEP how easily he could wipe the pout off his face. Forever.

Then we see that Caroline is the BEST VAMPIRE EVER!!!!

You know what, Damon? I’m going to be the best vampire that ever unlived, ever, because I’m Caroline, and I’m spunky and have great fashion sense.

Oooh, back to the school carnival! Wow, this is some school carnival. Wish I could go to that school. Arm-wresting!

Uncle Benicio and Stefan square off. Thank you, CW.

Stefan is facing off with Uncle Benicio! And loses! But we can see that Stefan throws the match. Or does he? Then Stefan and Damon discuss what could be behind Uncle Benicio’s super-strength. Ding, ding, ding! What’s behind door #3?

Oh, now Caroline is having words with Damon. Damon, I love you, but you totally deserve this.

Now dude who was flirting with Bonnie picks a fight with Tyler, after Damon compelled him to, to try to bring out Tyler’s wolf, but Uncle Benicio intervenes, and: wolf eyes!

Now the triumvirate (Elena, Stefan & Damon) have snuck into a classroom and are discussing what to do with vampire Caroline. Meanwhile, Caroline eats the dude who flirted with Bonnie! Come on Caroline, I’ve heard of rivalry between friends, but that’s taking it too far. While Elena and Stefan are trying to find Caroline (She’s in the parking lot, guys!) and Damon has just pulled a tent stake out of the ground to kill her, Tyler and Uncle Benicio have a fight about the fight. But it’s really more of an argument, because no wolf eyes.

Damon finds Caroline, and she’s got MAJOR fruit punch mouth. Bonnie’s flirtee is dead. Better luck next time Bonnie. Anyway, Caroline feels real bad about it. Oh thank goodness! Stefan and Elena stop Damon before he stakes Caroline, but then he whooshes back to do it anyway! Whew! Elena, super fast, throws herself between them. Gentle, sweet loving eye contact. Drink! Then Bonnie walks in. Yeah, Bonnie, your BFF is a vampire now. And it wasn’t her fault! What are you gonna do with your witchy vampire hating ways now? Show some tolerance, maybe? Bigotry kills, girlfriend.

It’s okay, Caroline, it’ll wash off.

Stefan takes Caroline into the bathroom and cleans her up, and turns on his dog whisperer-ways. It’s okay, Caroline. Don’t be sad. You apologized to both of your victims.

Back outside, Bonnie is taking out her rage on Damon. Bonnie, girlfriend, you have some serious issues! You set Damon on fire! Don’t make Jenny call some corners on a bitch! Thankfully, Elena’s secret love for him, or is it just her overriding goodness, causes her to push Bonnie and break her concentration. Whew!

If Elena hadn’t stopped things when she did, I’m afraid I might have had to cut a witch. And also, Bonnie? That shade of blame-throwing doesn’t go with your eyes.

Back at the dead mayor’s house, Tyler and Uncle Benicio make up, but oh Tyler, what secrets are you hiding in the hole in the floorboards? Papers? Okay. A wooden box? Oh, the moonstone. MOON stone.

Now the COTEP is at the Salvatore mansion. And he came there to kill Damon! But he changed his mind, so they have a heart to heart, in which Damon quips some more before showing us that sweet side of himself that we all love so much. Come on boys, take your shirts off and bond over your daddy issues.

Now Matt has snuck into Caroline’s room. And he loves her! Aw, Matt! Caroline loves you too! Smoochies! Don’t eat him, Caroline. Yay! Caroline practices the ways of the yogi and controls herself!

Now Stefan has come to Elena’s room, and he takes her back to the high school fair! And he takes her up on the ferris wheel just like she wanted. Wait. Did we know he could fly? Or is that just a really big jump? More smoochies, but oh no! Life in Mystic Falls is hard now! And it’s not going to get any easier? Not with Uncle Benicio and Katherine on the loose! Yelp!


What WILL happen next? Werewolves hunting vampires? Yikes! One thing we know for certain: Alaric is back next week!

Until then, comment to your heart’s content!

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Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.