You guys! Did you know that 2012 is the 50th anniversary of 1962? And as such, is the 50th anniversary of lots of things, like the Cuban Missile Crisis, the first American to orbit the earth, Spiderman, Marilyn Monroe’s death, the term “personal computer”, and the birth of Axl Rose AND Jon Bon Jovi. 1962! BIG YEAR, is what I’m saying. But the anniversary I’m MOST excited about is the anniversary of Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time. The special edition has a kickass new cover, based on the original cover art, and the folks over at Macmillan are putting together a 50-day blog party thing — which is awesome, though unlike a real-life party, you have to supply your own drinks.

A Wrinkle in Time is one of those books I’ve read so often, I can’t remember the exact first time. My aunt gave it to me when I was seven or eight, along with Little House in the Big Woods, and I didn’t pick it up right away. I did read Little House, but thought it was kind of boring, so I guess I just relegated Wrinkle to the same pile. Maybe it was the rainbow and centaur on the cover — I was a dedicated tomboy, and shunned all things Lisa Frank (probably because the popular girls with Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers were mean to me, so I fought back by pretending not to care and saying things they liked were dumb, and played Ninja Turtles at recess with boys instead). Anyway, what became one of my favorite books of all time EVER sat on my bookshelf for ages, or at least a few months, before I must have run out of other things to read and cracked it open.

I do remember thinking the first line (“It was a dark and stormy night”) was deliciously spooky and chilling, not knowing it was a bit of a joke. I definitely craved hot cocoa, just the beginning of a lifetime of being very food suggestible. I thought it was cool Meg was good at math — I wanted to be an astronaut back then — and was fascinated with tessering and the fancy-pants scientific parents and all the mysterious planets and aliens. I couldn’t get enough sci-fi (see wanting to be an astronaut), and while this wasn’t my first (I think that honor goes to Journey to the Mushroom Planet), it became my favorite. I spent hours practicing rearranging molecules with my mind in order to make holes in solid objects (it never worked). And it was definitely my first introduction to dystopia, totally blowing my tiny mind.

Here I was, a dress-hating, tangle-haired, Lisa-Frank-shunning, chatterbox tomboy who occasionally got into fistfights with boys, handed a book about a girl who didn’t fit in at school, was better at math than all the boys (ok, so that’s not me), and who learned sometimes the only way to save the world — the UNIVERSE — is to be strong and know your own mind, especially when it’s different from everyone elses’. That “Alike and Equal are not the same thing at all.”

Some time later, my third-grade teacher read it aloud in class. It was many girls’ first science fiction, but it read in a way that wasn’t science fiction — space-time travel and intelligent, empathetic life on other planets and soul-destroying totalitarianism were just a part of everyday life that most people just weren’t aware of.

I don’t remember what the other kids in my class thought about the book. By then, I’d already worked my way through the as much of the L’Engle canon as was available at the library, and paid more attention to the story than to my classmates. They must not have hated it, or I would have spent more time out in the hall for fighting than I already did, so that’s something.

I do know I didn’t care that I’d already read it — the book was just as exciting in class as it had been when I’d read it at home. And every time I’ve read it since, it’s been both intensely familiar and something new — an adventure, a romance, a paean to independence, a confidence builder. My favorite version might be the audiobook, read by Madeleine L’Engle herself. I’m always astonished when I remember how many times the book was rejected — 26!!! — and how she was ready to quit writing altogether because of the reception the book was getting (“because it deals overtly with the problem of evil, and it was too difficult for children, and was it a children’s or an adults’ book, anyhow?”). It’s my go-to comfort book, the one that reminds me to be myself, to not give up, and I’ve bought several copies to make sure I always have one for lending, one for giving, and one for me, and to make sure I have one ready when it’s time to read it to my own kid.

Can’t get enough of A Wrinkle in Time? Neither can these guys.

Related posts:

1. equal representation for cafeteria tables
2. Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair…Transylvania?

The new year is approaching and no website/blog’s end of the year reflections are complete without the requisite slew of “best of” lists. Yesterday we brought you our top ten swooniest books. Today we bring you the best of the best – our favorite reads published in 2011. Sure, it’s not like we read ALL of the YA published in 2011. But we read quite a bit and there were a lot of goodies to choose from. Like any good parents, we claim we don’t like to pick favorites. But everyone knows that’s bull and favorites we have picked, so here they be!

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
-picked by Megan no h

The Deal:

Karou seems like your average blue haired, tattooed art student living in Prague. Except that her appearance is the least unusual thing about her. Karou often disappears, running mysterious errands all over the world and draws beautiful pictures of monsters she claims are real. These monsters are chimaera, otherworldly creatures whose appearance is half human-half animal and are the only family Karou has ever known. The chimaera Brimstone runs a store that trades in teeth and wishes and Karou works for him, never knowing what the teeth are used for and how she came to grow up in this unusual shop. But Karou’s life gets turned upside-down soon after the appearance of Akiva, a seraph soldier with a dark past who may know more about Karou’s past than she does.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

Laini Taylor is one of the best darn YA writers out there today. I’d previously admired her prose in her short stories and as the first full length novel of hers I’ve read, this book did not disappoint me. She managed to take an overdone scenario (high school girl falls for a paranormal/otherworldly creature) and turn it into something completely unexpected and awesome. The last 150 pages of the book blew my mind with its vivid and unique the world building. This book really snuck up on me and I found myself thinking about it for days.

Divergent by Veronica Roth
–picked by Poshdeluxe

The Deal:

If you thought the cliques at your high school were bad, just wait until you visit Beatrice Prior’s Chicago. In this totally effed up future version of the city, people are divided into five factions based upon their natural abilities. Although she’s grown up in the selfless faction of Abnegation, Beatrice’s aptitude test reveals a startling discovery– she’s Divergent, which means she’s equally fit for Abnegation and Dauntless, the brave warriors who run the military. On her sixteenth birthday, Beatrice shocks her family (and herself) by choosing Dauntless, and she’s immediately thrown into training that she may not survive. With the help of new friends and her smokin’ hot instructor, Four, Beatrice must find the strength inside of herself to meet the Dauntless challenge while uncovering a conspiracy that could destroy everything she loves.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

I know, I know. I thought I was sick of dystopia too. But then I picked up this book and met badass mothercussin’ Beatrice (Tris), and I was hooked. And THEN I met Four, one of the hottest characters to ever grace a YA page, and I fell in love. In this epic adventure of romance and revolution, Roth deftly creates complex characters you can root (and cry) for and engages them in a heart-pounding battle for truth and life. If this first book is any indication, this trilogy will kick the shizz out of The Hunger Games. Because there ain’t no way Tris will faint when the going gets tough, and she sure as hell isn’t having babies against her will.

Dreamland Social Club by Tara Altebrando
-picked by Erin

The Deal:

Jane has just moved to Coney Island, the place of her deceased mother’s childhood, with her father and her brother Marcus. Jane and Marcus inherited their grandparents’ rundown house upon the occassion of their grandfather’s death, and their plan is to stay in Coney Island for a year, fix up the house, sell it, and get the hell out. “It’s only for a year,” Marcus and Jane’s father keeps reminding them.

But soon Jane falls in love with Coney Island – shut-down rides, rundown bars, chained-up carousel horses and the people who call it home – goth dwarf Babette, legless HT, the giant Legs, and a mysterious boy named Leo who happens to have a tattoo that Jane is certain she’s seen before.

In a year of exploring Coney’s past and fighting for its future, Jane discovers that not everything is easy and not everything is just. But with the help of a secret set of keys, she might just discover things she never knew about her mother and herself.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

A good book takes you to a place outside of yourself. A great book is so effortlessly magical and yet realistic that you feel as if you have always existed inside its pages and are merely greeting an old, close friend. Dreamland is such a book. At once both a tilt-a-whirl of lurid Coney Island history and an intimate portrait of a girl hoping to discover her dead mother’s secret life, this book will invite you in, let you put your feet up, and fix you your favorite drink before breaking – and restoring – your heart.

Everybody Sees The Ants by A. S. King
-picked by Jenny

The Deal:

Lucky Lindermann is anything but. In fact, he’s victim to some pretty horrifying bullying, and there’s no one who’ll help him. His dad’s too distant emotionally — plus, he’s always at work — and his mom never stands up for herself, much less Lucky, burying her head and swimming a few more laps.

But his dream life is a different story. Because every night, Lucky travels to the jungles of Vietnam, where his grandfather went MIA years and years ago. There, Lucky can actually fight back, and each morning when he wakes there’s something tangible that suggests his dreams are REAL. So Lucky is determined to bring his Granddad back home, somehow. Because maybe if his own father had his dad around, he’d learn how to be a dad himself. Maybe if Lucky could rescue his grandfather, he’d be able to rescue himself.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

In a year when bullying was brought to the forefront of everyone’s mind, this book arrived with its heartwarming/breaking tales and sage advice. I don’t think there’s a person on the planet who couldn’t identify with Lucky, and as he struggles and searches to find his own way in this world, he leaves behind universal truths like little lights along the path of life.

OR I could just say “Duh, this is A. S. King’s new book. GO OUT AND BUY IT ALREADY!!!” Why? Because in this, her third book, she strikes a tone yet again that is specifically her own. She also wins the honor of being one of only two YA authors my husband will read — no questions asked. Her writing is real and believable and often-times raw — in a way that makes the voice of her characters tangible — while always dipping a toe in the fantastical. She can tackle ISSUES that inspire the reader to be a better person, to not let old wounds or dysfunctional parents or mean people define us. And she does it in a way that is both heartfelt and humorous, woven so deeply into the story itself, that it never once feels sanctimonious and preachy.

Life: An Exploded Diagram by Mal Peet
-picked by Meghan

The Deal:

Clem Ackroyd, startled into life by a Nazi dogfight in the sky over his Norfolk village, grows up working-class and wholly unprepared to fall in love with Frankie Mortimer, the local gentry’s bewitching daughter. As the Cold War simmers around them, Clem and Frankie race to grow up before it’s too late, and his parents — who did the same during World War II — muddle through middle age.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

Mal Peet might be the best YA — or any level — writer we never hear about. And that’s a damn shame, y’all. He’s that gem of an author, one who just writes a gorgeous story with gorgeous words and doesn’t write for a particular audience. The book’s bitter and cynical, and also sentimental — but with a clear-eyed view of the madness of military might and our human inability to look beyond our little lives and the past five minutes and see trouble bubbling over. The characters are so strongly drawn, they flirt with becoming caricatures while staying wholly real. Coupled with the hopscotching narration, the result is a hot crazy mess of awesome.

Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt
-picked by Meghan

The Deal:

because his drunk wife-and-son-beater dad mouthed off to his boss at the paper mill and got fired, and the only job he could get was in a paper mill where his no-good drunk best friend Ernie Eco works. Anyway, life kind of sucks for Doug. His oldest brother’s off in Vietnam, his other brother is a hoodlum who stole his autographed Joe Pepitone baseball cap — given to him by Joe himself, and now he’s stuck in a crappy little town where there’s nothing to do but go to the library. AND there’s an obnoxious know-it-all girl who sucks because she’s pretty and funny, so she’s impossible to ignore, and of course the whole town judges Doug by his father and older brother’s antics.

But when Doug discovers John James Audubon’s birds in the library, his life starts to change, beginning with meeting Mr. Powell, the librarian who helps him learn to draw, and ending with just about everyone in the town — including Doug himself.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

If Doug doesn’t crack you up and make you cry and have you thinking seriously about adopting him, or at least becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister, you have a heart of stone. Every single character in the book is worth falling in love with, and by the end, you’ll be cursing science for not having invented a machine that transports you into books.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
-picked by Megan no h

The Deal:

The future isn’t very bright for Wade Watts. It’s the year 2044 and the world is steadily circling down the toilet. A combination of global warming and our dependence on fossil fuels (which have more or less run out by this time) has led even the most wealthy countries to become overrun by poverty, famine and unemployment. Wade lives with his horrible aunt on the top of a “stack” – rows of mobile homes stacked one on top of each other that surround most major US cities. Wade’s only escape is to spend all of his time in OASIS, an online virtual platform that almost the entire world (those who can afford it, anyway) is connected to. When the reclusive billionaire creator of OASIS died, he pledged his entire fortune to the first person to discover an easter egg he left buried in the game. When Wade discovers the first key to the prize, he has no idea just how much this discovery will change his whole life.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

This book is a hot mess of crazy fun. What do I mean? Well, this book is an explosion of 80s nerd nostalgia and video game action. It will feed your inner geek like a complimentary Las Vegas buffet. But seriously, this book was one of the most fun I’ve read in a long time. I actually ignored people so I could keep reading this book, always excited to get to the next pop culture reference or have Wade find the next clue in the crazy contest he is trying to solve. It reads like a video game combined with a nerd reference text and while that won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, for others it will be a delight.

Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
-picked by Jenny

The Deal:

Every November, the people on the island of Thisby await the arrival of the Capall Uisce – the mysterious water horses that are as much a part of the island as the people themselves — as they prepare for the Scorpio Races.

Kate “Puck” Connolly has just found out that she and her brothers are about to lose everything: their house, her beloved horse Dove, and each other. The only solution she can see is to enter the races.

Sean Kendrick has won the Scorpio Races 4 times, on the water horse Corr, who he sometimes thinks he understands better than most people. All he really wants is to buy Corr from his boss and go back to his father’s farm, but up until this year, Mr. Malvern has refused to sell Corr to Sean.

As Kate, Sean and the other jockeys make preparations for race day, they face down danger every day — not just from the island horses, but from some of the people of Thisby, as well.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

This might be the most original fantasy I read all year. It’s definitely my favorite of Stiefvater’s works, and will appeal to both horse lovers and action/suspense junkies. The language of Thisby of so stark, the characters so vivid, you can almost smell the sea and feel the sand in your shorts. Stiefvater kept me on the edge of my seat — constantly waiting for the worst to happen — as the book pounded toward its conclusion, only letting me rest when I had closed its final pages.

Where She Went by Gayle Forman
–picked by Poshdeluxe

The Deal:

Over three years have passed since the car accident that killed Mia’s family and left her in a coma, forced to choose between life and death. Her boyfriend, Adam, basically devoted his life to her recovery, but when Mia left for Julliard and never contacted him again, his heart shattered beyond repair. Of course, we all know that depression makes for great music, and Adam’s band (name omitted due to its highly embarrassing nature) is now insanely famous. In spite of his rock star riches, Adam’s life is empty without Mia, and when he runs into her one night in New York City, they set out to find the hidden gems of the city… and maybe, just maybe, their love for each other.

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

You might be thinking, “But Posh, this book already made your 2011 Top Swoonworthy List!” To which I would respond, “EXACTLY. Also, it’s nice to see that you’ve memorized our swoon list so quickly. EXCELLENT WORK, YANGELIST.” Seriously, though, this book could have made it into my top two faves by hotness alone, but Gayle Forman had to go and be an overachiever with her gorgeous, insanely compelling writing and her expertise on New York City eccentricities. I read this book in one sitting, because there was nothing, NOTHING more important to me than finding out what happened between Adam and Mia. Like, I didn’t even get up to make a cocktail. THAT is how much I loved this book, you guys. LIKE WHOAH.

Winter Town by Stephen Emond
-picked by Erin

The Deal:

Evan, an Ivy League-bound senior with secret RISD aspirations, looks forward to his childhood best friend Lucy’s annual visit every winter. Once the very best of friends, Lucy and Evan’s relationship shifted after Lucy moved south with her mother. But now, once a year, Lucy makes her way back home to spend Christmas with her sad, schlubby father and to recapture her friendship with Evan.

But this year . . . this year Lucy is different. No longer bright and witty, Lucy is withdrawn, sarcastic, bitter. Half of the time she shows no interest in her and Evan’s many winter rituals; the other half of the time she is demanding that they recreate times from the past.

Can Evan break past Lucy’s new hard exterior and find the warm, gooey childlike Lucy center that he knows is still there? Can Lucy learn to reconcile her past self with her present self and reach for what she wants? Can Lucy and Evan’s dads invite me over to their houses for Christmas?

Why This Book Is Worth a Thousand Champ Cans:

What can I say? Winter Town had everything I require in a great book: relatable characters in an everyday setting with just enough of an ethereal quality to make me feel as if I, too, am young with all the world before me.

So, what were your favorite YA books of 2011? Any books we reviewed that you think should have been included on our list? Any you think should be banished from our list? And what books did we miss reviewing in 2011 that we should play catch up for on 2012?

Related posts:

1. The top ten swooniest books of 2011
2. Top Ten British Shows You Could Be Watching
3. Badass Guest: Meredith’s Top Books of 2011

While the rest of the world is spending the week composing Best Dystopian Trilogy or Most Hotly Anticipated Blockbuster Film Franchise lists, we’ve chosen to wrap up 2011 with what we love best — swoon (you thought I’d say champ can, didn’t you? We wouldn’t turn one down). We all know a good swoon goes with everything, from that ugly sweater you got from your great-aunt Mildred to yet another vampire book, and these swoons are guaranteed to light a few panty fires.

So in order of swoonworthiness (and then letter-by-letter alphabetical order — we’re particular around here), we present FYA’s Top Ten Swoons of 2011. I hope you have a fire extinguisher ready!

Hidden by Tomas Mournian
Swoonworthy scale: 10

The deal:

Ahmed’s a young, gay teen who has just been released from the evil, torturous, “Scared Straight” prison that his hypocritical father and heinous stepmother have sentenced him to.  Instead of going home with his parents, a sedated, hallucinatory Ahmed sees his chance for escape and takes it.

Soon, he’s on the run and taken in by no-nonsense Marci, left to fend for himself in a one-room safe house with seven other gay teenagers hiding out from their parents.  The majority of the teens are trapped in that house until they come of age, and they have to deal with bounties placed on their heads, turning tricks to make the ends meet, hiding out from cops and their evil parents, gender identity, HIV, PTSD and, oh yeah, love.

Ahmed has to figure out who he can trust and how he can stay alive, cause not only does he have parents who he’s pretty sure want to burn him to death, he also happened to witness the rape and murder of a young male sex worker by a dead-eyed pyscho . . . who has now turned his cold, dead eyes on Ahmed.

Can he stay alive?  Can he learn to trust anyone ever again?  Will the memories of the trauma he endured at the “correction facility” ever fade?  Will he win the heart of J.D.?  I really hope you guys all pick up this book to find out, but, fair warning, it ain’t for the faint of heart.

Why it’s so swoony:

Can I have a swoonworthy scale of 10 just for Hammer’s abs and ass?  Even though he’s like 16?  I mean, I just want to get that out of the way.  Hammer, I know I’m not your type but please do a web show for me.

Moving on to the actual relationship here!  Ahmed and J.D. the Pirate’s relationship is STEAMY TO THE EXTREME.  You guys, Mournian is NOT fucking around here.  No little hints about tingly feelings and swoony cartoon hearts, this.  We’re talking full-on descriptions of the sexola.*  But, even though Ahmed and J.D.’s relationship is HOT HOT HOT, I just kept cringing and thinking, “no, baby!  He’s gonna break your heart!  He can’t give you what you need!  Why can’t you date that nice boy from down the street?  Oh, sure, he doesn’t look like a gorgeous Adonis, but I’m sure his braces will be off soon and then his smile will be just lovely!”  Because, J.D.? Is 100% smoking hot T-R-O-U-B-L-E.  Not to mention that Kidd, one of the other house residents, is also warm for J.D.’s form, and is NOT the kind of dude you want to piss off.

Still.  Very hot.  So, so very hot.

*Nothing more explict than you’d read in a slash fanfic featuring the Salvatores from The Vampire Diaries.  Um.  Not that I have ever read any of those.

– Erin

Overbite by Meg Cabot
Swoonworthy scale: 9

The deal:

When we last saw Meena Harper, her vampire boyfriend, Lucien Antonescu, had almost sort of kind of maaaaaybe turnedintoadragonandburneddownhalfofStGeorge’sCathedral, killing hundreds of his own vampire followers and a few innocent bystanders.  This could totally happen to anyone!  But it is sort of a boner killer, mostly because you don’t want to have sex with someone who could turn into a DRAGON in the sack.  Well, maybe you do.  I don’t presume to know you and your life choices.

So that, combined with the fact that Meena Harper has been hired by the Palatine, the Vatican’s super-secret guard of demon hunters, due to her unique ability to tell how people can die, AND the fact that Lucien totally wants to turn Meena into a vampire so that they can live together forever, having dragon sex daily, sort of means that Meena and Lucien had to break up.  I mean, it wasn’t awkward and it’s totally fine . . . except for how now Lucien never tries to contact Meena and Meena is technically working with someone who wants to kill him.

But just when Meena is getting on with her life and maybe finally showing an interest in dating again, all of her past relationships come crashing down on her.  Literally.

Now Meena has to balance one dead ex-boyfriend, one undead ex-boyfriend who seems to be meaner and more abusive every day and a potential boyfriend (Alaric, obvs) while trying to figure out who exactly at the Palatine is trying to get her killed.  Oh, and she has to save the world.  Again.

Why it’s so swoony:

Never before (I think) have I given any Meg Cabot book less than a 10 on the swoonworthy scale.  This is because Meg Cabot knows how to deliver exactly the type of swoon I love, which means fluttery feelings and unsure bumbling, but also sexy, sexy second base action.

However, I had to knock a point off because I couldn’t believe Meena was still carrying any sort of torch for Lucien when Alaric was around.  I mean, I get that Lucien is gorgeous and wonderful and can turn into a dragon and have sex with you, but Alaric is panty-meltingly hot and wears Armani suits and drives fast cars and has a sword.  NO CONTEST.

– Erin

Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
Swoonworthy scale: 9

The deal:

Lola really only wants three things to happen in her teen life in order for her to be completely happy: to go to her winter formal dressed as Marie Antoinette, for her parents to accept her boyfriend, and to never see the Bell twins (Calliope and Cricket) again. Unfortunately, the Bells have just moved back into their house — right next door.
You see, Lola and Cricket Bell used to kind of be best friends. And then they almost became more-than best friends — before Cricket did something really mean and then moved away.

Why it’s so swoony:

From holding up signs in bedroom windows to talking to the moon, to finding your one true love only to lose them to a misunderstanding — this book felt like encyclopedia of classic romantic tropes. It left me with happy tears in my eyes, staring at its ridiculous cover, feeling that what I had just read was a story that would be cherished for many years to come.

–Jenny

Saving June by Hannah Harrington
Swoonworthy scale: 9

The deal:

A few days before graduation, Harper’s older sister June killed herself. June was the perfect one — perfect hair, perfect grades, perfect attitude — and Harper spent her whole life trying to be Not June. After the suicide, she questions just how perfect June’s life really was, especially after finding out how much it hurt June to crush her dreams of going to California just to make her parents happy, and finding a mix CD full of music June would never listen to from a boy she can’t imagine June ever meeting. Her mother is slowly drinking herself to death, despite the best efforts of her Bible-thumping aunt to Save her Soul, and before Harper can talk herself out of it, she is on a mission to take June’s ashes to California. Joined by her best friend Laney and mix-CD boy (also known as Jake), Harper hopes the road trip will help her learn more about June. She ends up learning a lot about herself.

Why it’s so swoony:

For the first bit of this book, I was worried it was going to be a Sneaky Jesus book, with the totally authentic philosophical “is there a god” talk — coupled with Harper’s obnoxious Bible-thumping aunt, I could see it veering into “and then I found the Lord and was saved!” territory. Lucky for all of us, it ended up being a SMOKING HOT book instead! The relationship between Harper and Jake is full of tension, since their only connection is June and they both are working through their grief and guilt over her death, and we all know tension is the best way into a lady’s panties. Jake’s the quintessential MLD/bad boy, all secretly sensitive and hot, and the only reason I deducted a point from the scale is because he thinks the Doors’ Soft Parade is good sexin’ music. Everyone knows if you’re going for “ironic”, cheeky mood music, stay away from Marvin Gaye and Jim Morrison’s “Touch Me” and go with LL Cool J.

–Meghan

Where She Went by Gayle Forman
Swoonworthy scale: 9

Meghan reviewed this one, but I had to steal it for my list because ADAAAAAM! Also, if you haven’t read the prequel, If I Stay, please please please skip to the next book on this list so you can avoid some major (and I mean MAJOR) spoilers.

The deal:

Over three years have passed since the car accident that killed Mia’s family and left her in a coma, forced to choose between life and death. Her boyfriend, Adam, basically devoted his life to her recovery, but when Mia left for Julliard and never contacted him again, his heart shattered beyond repair. Of course, we all know that depression makes for great music, and Adam’s band (name omitted due to its highly embarrassing nature) is now insanely famous. In spite of his rock star riches, Adam’s life is empty without Mia, and when he runs into her one night in New York City, they set out to find the hidden gems of the city… and maybe, just maybe, their love for each other.

Why it’s so swoony:

LE SIGH. LE SIGH. LE SIGH. Is there anything more romantic than two soul mates who have one night in New York City to discover if they can rekindle their relationship? Sure, that might sound like the plot of a really bad rom com, but in the expert hands of Gayle Forman, it becomes an epic love story. Adam’s heartbreak combined with his empty rock star lifestyle infuses him with an intense desperation that I found unbelievable sexy. And since the book is written from his perspective, we don’t really know how Mia feels about him, which would have driven me insane had I not been busy dumping ice into my panties. The chemistry sizzles, the tension is smokin’, and the uncertainty is as delicious as it is painful. Adam and Mia, I hope you have a speech prepared, because you have officially been inducted into my Top Swoonworthy YA Couples List. CONGRATS, KIDS.

–Poshdeluxe

The Beginning of After by Jennifer Castle
swoonworthy scale: 8

The deal:

(Speaking of Gayle Forman, here’s a book that might *sound* like If I Stay but is totally and completely different. I promise! Also, what is up with me and all of this swoon via tragedy? I think I have a problem, you guys.)

You know how, in Home Alone, Kevin wishes his entire family would disappear, and then it’s like totally awesome, at least for the first few days of sundaes and stair sledding? Well, I have the feeling that sixteen-year-old Laurel will never know the joy of Home Alone again, because her family really did disappear. On a night after dinner with their neighbors, the Kaufmans, Laurel heads home to finish homework, and her mom, dad and brother get in the car with Mr. Kaufman behind the wheel for an ice cream run. On the way, the car is involved in a tragic accident, killing everyone except for Mr. Kaufman, who lands in a coma. In an instant, Laurel’s whole life changes in a way that no one could understand– no one, that is, except David Kaufman, who also ditched his family that night and lost his mother in the accident. Unlike Laurel, whose grandmother immediately moves in, David has no one except his vegetable father, and he constantly disappears. In spite of his flickering presence, Laurel finds herself drawn to him as she struggles to figure out how exactly life goes on.

Why it’s so swoony:

Oh, believe me, I’m surprised as you are to find a book about a family’s death on the top of my swoon list. But you should never underestimate the power of the MLD, especially under such emotionally intense circumstances.

David Kaufman, panties off to you, sir!!! You sure know how to set tragedy on fire with your hotness. Especially since you were kind of a jerk before the accident, what with your bad boy druggie ways and the fact that you totally ignored Laurel even though you played together as kids. But post-accident, SA-WOON. You’re tortured and lost and you aimlessly drive across the country and send Laurel cryptic post cards and you love your dog Masher and you are seriously TURNING ME ON. Plus, the fact that Laurel is trying to make it work with another guy just increases the romantic tension to almost unbearable levels.

–Poshdeluxe

Divergent by Veronica Roth
Swoonworthy scale: 8

The deal:

Arguably the biggest dystopian hit of the year, Divergent is set in a crumbling, futuristic Chicago. All the cities inhabitants are split into five segregated factions based on personality type. 16 year old Beatrice lives with her family in Abnegation, the selfless faction that runs the government. All teenagers her age are given an aptitude test to help determine their future faction. Except Beatrice’s test is inconclusive. She is what is referred to as “Divergent” but no one will explain to her what that means or why it’s dangerous. So Beatrice chooses Dauntless, shocking everyone but most of all her family. The Dauntless are brave and dangerous and lead very different lives than those in Abnegation. Beatrice have what it takes to make it through the Dauntless initiation process or will she be kicked out, forced to live her life as faction-less? And will Beatrice find out what it means to be Divergent before it’s too late?

Why it’s so swoony:

Many of you have already had the pleasure of experiencing Beatrice’s relationship with her handsome instructor Four. Now “teacher/student” roles can be a real turnoff, but luckily Four is only a couple of years older than Beatrice, making their dynamic sexy instead of yucky. And even better, Four is a classic Mysterious Loner Dude. Handsome, strong, unknown background and Beatrice is never quite sure if he likes her or hates her. And Four shows us how a little can go a long way, because the foreplay in this book is unreal. Okay, not like, actual foreplay, just a really great build up of little touches, flirting and sexual tension so thick you could butter it on bread. But don’t worry, this book isn’t a just tease – you’ll be left plenty satisfied.

–Megan

I’ll Be There by Holly Goldberg Sloan
Swoonworthy scale: 8

The deal:

Sam and his little brother Riddle have lived all over the country, uprooted by their dangerously crazy, criminal father every time the voices in his head warn him it’s time to move on. Her whole life, Emily Bell has lived in the same town, the same house with her normal professional parents, her little brother and their fat old dog Felix.

Sam hasn’t been to school since second grade, but knows how to disappear, how to protect strange little Riddle, and he knows music.

Emily’s been in the same school district her whole life, but she doesn’t know much about the world. She does believe everything is connected. So when her dad makes her sing a solo in church – “I’ll be There” by the Jackson 5, which is bad enough by itself, but Emily can’t sing – and she handles her nerves by singing to the strange boy in the back row, it has to mean something that the boy is Sam.

Emily doesn’t know what their meeting will do to Sam’s tenuous protective walls, but Sam does, and he tries to ignore their connection. But of course he can’t, and Sam and Emily knock down that first domino in a wild chain they’ll be powerless to stop.

Why it’s so swoony:

Sam’s determination to keep his distance from Emily makes the swoon so hardcore. Much like Cameron Quick in Sweethearts, Sam has lives at stake if he gets involved, but unlike Jenna, Emily doesn’t know anything about Sam’s life (since he won’t tell her), and that makes her heartbreak more bitter. Every time Sam tells Emily goodbye, he means it as a final goodbye, and while reading, I knew it if she didn’t, and I knew why and I was so tense and worried sick that each time would be THE time Sam’s father really snapped, so I just wanted to stretch out their time together as long as possible. Heartbreak, a few fist pumps and SWOONY TUNES (who knew city buses could bring the swoon?).

–Meghan

Fateful by Claudia Gray
Swoonworthy scale: 7

the deal:

Tess Davies has spent her adolescence as a maid in the service of the Lyles — a family with a title, lots of secrets — and not much else. But she finally has a chance at a new life, making it on her own, because (in hopes of marrying off their children to rich merchants in the US) the Lylse family is setting sail on the maiden voyage of The Titanic. Tess plans to set out on her own as soon as the ship makes port in NYC, where she will find good honest work as a seamstress or hired maid, freeing herself from the bonds of servitude.

Once aboard the vast ship, Tess is thrown into a mystery as unbelievable as it is deadly, when she meets Alec, a devastatingly handsome passenger in First Class, on his way back to the states from France, where he left suddenly, (and under questionable circumstances involving the gruesome murder of an actress friend of his).

We all know (SPOILER) the boat sinks, but will Tess and Alec even make it to the ‘berg as their relationship is challenged not only by class divide, but by the creatures of myth who are hunting him?

Why it’s so swoony:

Fateful makes my list because of how much it surprised me with it’s epic, sweeping romance. Call me crazy, but I just didn’t think a book about WEREWOLVES on the TITANIC could deliver such swoon! However, from the first moment our heroes meet, it became clear that this was a classic bosom heaver. The thrills! The suspense! The romance! By the end it had me singing Celine Dion. And that, my friends, is something that I just don’t do.

–Jenny

Cold Kiss by Amy Garvey
Swoonworthy scale: 7

The deal:

Wren’s boyfriend Danny is killed in a car crash, and she’s so heartbroken, she brings him back to life. But Wren doesn’t know much about her powers, since her mother refuses to admit they run in the family, and didn’t stop to think about the consequences of the spell. Danny’s not the real Danny, but an empty shell of the boy she loved, and he’s quickly getting out of control — and she can’t let anyone know he exists. What makes Danny so terrifying isn’t rotting flesh or a craving for brains (he’s not that kind of zombie, anyway), it’s getting inside Wren and knowing just how MUCH she loved him and how much she misses him. It’s knowing what he was like alive that makes the dead Danny’s dependence and lack of autonomy so chilling. As if struggling to figure out how to fix her immense mistake and handle the double loss of her first love wasn’t complicated enough for Wren, she meets Gabriel, a gorgeous — and living — boy who knows her secrets.

Why it’s so swoony:

I wouldn’t normally expect a zombie book to make any swoon list, let alone find a place in my decidedly anti-zombie pants, but we all know fire and ice just intensify each other. There’s no swoon with Danny, because right next to the glowing memories of living Danny is his cold, dead shell, but right next to THAT burns Gabriel, the new boy in Wren’s life. And nothing starts panty fires like secrets, rampant emotions and danger, wrapped up in a tall, grey-eyed, sandy-haired package.

–Meghan

Honorable Mention: Raw Blue by Kirsty Eagar

This book came out in Australia a few years ago, but since it’s not available in the US, I didn’t get my grabby little hands on it until 2011. The other books are lucky that it’s disqualified from this list, because it would SCORCH THE SHIZZ OUT OF THEM WITH ITS BLAZE OF SEXINESS.

–Poshdeluxe

Related posts:

1. Badass Guest: Meredith’s Top Books of 2011
2. Top Ten British Shows You Could Be Watching
3. all good YA books go to heaven

Hey there, kids! It’s time for another WTF-filled edition of Picture Pages, our new series in which we shed the light of science into the wild and darkest corners of the internet, aka Google Image Search. Prepare to unearth dazzling discoveries and mind-blowing mysteries as we journey through the pictures that show up on our search for another YA hottie: Jonah Griggs.

Before we proceed, I must remind you that on this expedition, it’s important to reflect the culture around us. When we see an image, we don’t click on it to find its origin or zoom in to examine it carefully. We must make snap judgements! We must remain vigilant in our superficiality! If you, fellow explorers, are willing to accept these conditions, then onward ho!

1. Hey, I think that’s Matt Saracen!! Who is… nothing like Jonah Griggs! At all! Like, seriously, Matt would lose his territory to Jonah about five minutes into the war, then feel bad about disappointing his grandma. But I love that sweet boy anyway, so he still gets a check.

2. It’s the cover of the book! Ok!

3. DRAMATIC FACE GUY. I have no idea who he is, but based on his eyebrow lift and head tilt, I think he wants to kill me. Or kiss me. Or maybe just find his shirt. It’s hard to say.

4. Well, lookee here! The FYA MLD icon appears yet again! Excellent work, Catalano.

5. If I squint, I can make out that this picture says “My Book Boyfriend.” I was going to give this picture an X, because Jonah is obvs MY book boyfriend, but that girl’s awkward pose just made me confused. I mean, how is that comfortable?

6. I don’t know who this guy is, but I do know that he has Disney hair and a douchey smirk. In other words, HE IS NOT JONAH GRIGGS.

7. Wait, is this a Backstreet Boy?

8. It’s another version of the cover! Ok!

9. Look, we’ve already had two covers show up. That means that you, image, are taking up valuable real estate that could be used by, say, a picture of Ethan Peck or Tim Riggins. So I don’t mean to be rude, but I think it’s time for you to hit the (Jellicoe) road.

10. At first glance, I thought this was Joseph Gordon Levitt. Then I realized that it’s… maybe Brad Renfro? Then I had a sad.

11. Oh look, it’s a scared kitty! Just hanging out in the Jonah Griggs Google image search, being cute! WAIT WHAT? (It still gets a check, though. I can’t deny that level of preciousness.)

12. Channing Tatum! Hello sir! You are in no way my image of Jonah Griggs, but you certainly are a fine specimen. Plus you were in two Step Up movies, so that’s an automatic check.

13. I’m guessing this picture is somehow related to the fact that Jonah is a cadet. But at least give me some hot men in uniform! Or some beach volleyball! COME ON.

14. Look, image. I realize we haven’t seen you before. But I’M SICK OF COVERS. COVERS BE GONE.

15. Did you not just hear what I said? For the love of YA, you’re not even written by the same author!

16. A book cover… where the potentially hot guy’s face is turned away from us. NEXT.

17. This guy looks familiar. But I also see a CW icon on the corner so… no.

18. I think that’s James Franco? Maybe? I like the dude, but Jonah Griggs would’ve sawed off his arm in 24 hours, know what I’m saying?

19. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

20. Another military-type picture. Another disgruntled Poshdeluxe.

21. That picture is too tiny for me to make out the identity of the boy, but I can clearly see that the wind is poetically blowing his Jane Austen-style outfit as he stares off into the distance with ennui, i.e. SHIZZ JONAH GRIGGS WOULD NEVER DO.

22. Channing Tatum, we meet again! Normally, I would give you points off for appearing twice, when you so do not resemble Jonah Griggs, but there’s something about this image that really appeals to me. It’s hard to put my finger on (and boy, I wish I could).

Thus ends this Jonah Griggs edition of Picture Pages! This was a tough one, with few clear winners, but that’s what happens sometimes when you dig deep in the name of science. Feel free to share your scholarly input on my results in the comments!

Related posts:

1. Picture Pages: Marcus Flutie
2. Pretty Little Liars 2×9: Picture This

You read that right, folks!  I’m going to be reading Arcania to review it, and one lucky reader of this site will be winning a Kindle with the book loaded onto it!

See, Liz Maverick is releasing her new book on a yet-to-be-announced publishing platform for the Kindle.  What does that mean exactly?  (You might ask.)  Well, it means that the author will be able to write episodically, rewriting chapters from different characters’ points of view, and revising history depending on whose side of the story is being told.  It could bring about a whole new genre of book, so stay tuned for more — I’ll be reviewing it and hosting the giveaway in the next couple of weeks!  Read on after the break for a teaser of the first chapter:

Arcania

Trial by Fire #1
by
Liz Maverick

Chapter 1 Teaser

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. The guidance counselor’s mouth continued to move, blasting me with an endless wave of peppermint yuck. She wanted to help me, you see. Didn’t she always? The D grade in Algebra was my latest transgression. It was kind of a screw up, I admit. I’d meant to keep my average average by getting another C. Nothing more, nothing less. Just fly under the radar. That was the goal.

I sniffed once, for show, and hung my head then decided it was excessive and looked up at her again while trying not to think about how much she resembled a Hummel figurine with bad lipstick. Mrs. Rafferty, I want to help you. That brown sack dress might look great on the sort of model who gnaws at her own fingernails for breakfast, but on you? Yikes.

“I think maybe we should have a discussion with your parents.”

The words sliced through the lovely fog I’d cultivated in my brain—apathy, beautiful apathy—boring into my skull like an old-fashioned dental drill would a tooth. Sharp, deep. Impossible to ignore.

“That won’t be necessary,” I blurted. Mrs. Rafferty’s lips continued to flap about how I needed to “reach for the sky” while her fingers groped for another hit from that plastic bowl of pillow mints on her desk.

I would have lodged a more convincing protest against the idea of involving my parents were it not for the thread of purple-black smoke suddenly twisting through the air just to the right of a kiosk of self-help brochures sporting cheerful titles designed to prevent you from cutting your arms with razor blades or going too far with boys to get attention. Out of habit I looked at Mrs. Rafferty, quickly, to see if she noticed, even though I knew she hadn’t. She wouldn’t see anything at all. She took my glance as attention, however, and kept on about junior year being too late to recover from bad grades and how I needed to apply myself now, as a sophomore. From the corner of my eye I watched the smoke swirl, thin and stretch into a large oval.

Lara, is that you?

My sister didn’t answer my silent query. She never did. She was better than that. Better than me. Lara wasn’t just arcanic; she was considered extraordinary even among her own kind—which I wasn’t, despite being her twin. I could always sense something of what she was feeling, though, even if I was a genetic loser and had barely any arcania in me at all. I think the twin thing was the cause, because something in me had tracked Lara’s training in arcanic arts from the day she started. This was by far the darkest emotion I’d ever sensed from her.

“Adia Hawkins! You are not listening to me. There are consequences to your actions, you know.”

A roaring noise crashed down on my head like an ocean wave; the smoke in the air collapsed in on itself, grabbed at my heart and ripped at me from its pulsing center. I clutched wildly at my chest, feeling like I was about to be sucked down a bathtub drain. Then I slammed back in my chair with a gasp. The tension had abruptly ceased. The smoke vanished. I was left behind.

Mrs. Rafferty’s eyes narrowed to slits. “I am not amused by your dramatics, young lady. We will include your parents in further discussion.”

“That really won’t be necessary, Mrs. Rafferty,” I managed to say, fighting panic along with the aftermath of arcanic whiplash. I still wasn’t quite sure what had happened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything.”

“Adia, we definitely have a problem,” Mrs. Rafferty announced, her fingertips idly brushing the sticky-looking receiver of her landline. Then her expression softened. “But there’s no problem in the world that can’t be solved with a little talking. I’m sure your parents want to know that you’re struggling. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Embarrassed? Not exactly. My parents already knew my struggles, and they were as unavailable for parent-counselor conferences now as ever, considering they lived on an entirely different plane of reality and only stopped by on rare occasions to check on me, sort of like solar eclipses or the way that disgusting puke-scented flower in Hawaii pops out of the ground every five years or something. Not that that’s how I felt about my parents. I’m just saying. It was a rare, rare thing to see them. I probably couldn’t even get them if I wanted. The Council would probably get fake parents and then—

“Please, Mrs. Rafferty,” I said, surprising myself as real tears filled my eyes. I cleared my throat. “Please don’t ask them to come in.”

Adia, pull your shit together!

Together my shit did stay, through another five minutes of a rambling, mixed-metaphor-strewn motivational speech involving ball sports and fighter pilots. I even managed a few more apologies. Unfortunately, at the end of it I still walked out with a parent-teacher conference summons. Hellfire and damnation seemed a more pleasant alternative, but Mrs. Rafferty hadn’t offered the option.

I crossed just beyond the school boundary to sit on the unofficial smokers bench, summons hanging limply from one hand. Minka Gross was sitting there in a cloud of smoke, fiddling with a massive new piercing in her ear that I was pretty sure would deform her lobe for the rest of her life. She flicked away her clove cigarette by way of greeting and we sat in companionable silence until I just had to ask, “You see anything lately?”

She exhaled slowly. “No.”

Minka wasn’t a huge conversationalist. Even had she been, we still probably wouldn’t have had a whole lot to chitchat about. She was black kohl eyeliner to my cherry Chapstick. But though neither my “normal” boyfriend Brandon nor my “normal” friends understood why I was nice to the biggest outcast in school—other than as some outsized humanitarian gesture to prevent her from getting suffocated by bullies in a locker room garbage can—I was. Because they didn’t know what I did. They didn’t have a clue about what we really were.

Minka and I had one very important thing in common. It was a connection that didn’t require we like the same clothes, music, or hobbies. It was that we were arcanic rejects, the Arcanae’s half-assed lessers, left on Earth to keep our genetic lameness from infecting anyone else while our talented peers, the true firebloods, took care of business. You’d be surprised what kind of bond simple inferiority can build. Even if that bond is never verbalized.

I put Mrs. Rafferty’s Parental Form of Doom down on the picnic table. Minka eyed it and raised an eyebrow.

“Did she give you the speech about basketball, marine biology or fighter pilots?” Her gaze quickly returned to the chipped black nail polish on her left hand.

“Mostly fighter pilots. A touch of basketball. A lot of ‘reach for the sky.’ You got marine biology?” I’d never heard that speech.

“Yeah. One where she talks about fish in the sea. Schools and the like. Very creative. ‘The world is your oyster’ and other pearls.” Minka grimaced at her own joke. “Very confusing. S’posed to be about teamwork and mingling. But, then, you probably won’t get that one ’cause you’re not an anti-social weirdo.”

“Nope. Just a pathetic underachiever. She doesn’t consider the remarkable consistency of my C-average a virtue.” I leaned back and stared up at the sky, felt the table edge cut into my back. “‘The sky’s the limit,’ I said, mimicking the counselor.

Minka snorted. She poked at the corner of Mrs. Rafferty’s letter, pushing it back toward me. “You’re gonna have to contact the Council. The parents thing is always a problem.”

“I know,” I snapped, more harshly than she deserved. Having someone else say it out loud made everything worse, and it didn’t help that the bangs of Minka’s dyed black hair blocked the view of most of her face. I couldn’t tell if she was on my side or not. Was anyone ever on my side? I got up from the table, shoved the form into my messenger bag and walked away. Screw you, Minka Gross. Watch me bother to defend you again when the stupid jocks start making fun of your name.

“I get straight A’s,” Minka blurted.

I froze, my back to her. This was the most personal thing she’d offered up in years. I mean, our shared situation as arcanic lessers had occasionally led to discussions about preventing discovery by normals, but we’d never—and I mean ever—talked about her life. Not real life.

I slowly turned, the way you do when you don’t want to spook an animal. Two red spots glowed in Minka’s cheeks, and she was breathing fast. “I get straight A’s,” she repeated.

I had the sense that the moment could slip away, that if I said the wrong thing she’d close up forever, but I had no idea where she was going. What she wanted. What she wanted us to share. “And…?”

In a voice that was a bare whisper she said, “And there’s no one to tell.”

We looked at each other. A lump formed in my throat and I reached out to her, my hand stretching across the table. She didn’t move, though, just stared at it. I slowly took her palm in mine and gave it a squeeze. A beat passed, and I couldn’t decide whether the look on Minka’s face meant she was going to stub her cigarette out on the top of my hand or squeeze back.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I know…”

Just when I thought I’d been dismissed, Minka squeezed back. The moment lasted only a fraction of a second before she pulled away, but it happened. Then she tossed her head to make her hair cover her face and turned her back on me.

I walked toward the school on the verge of tears. It had been a strange moment. Nobody had it easy. Not Minka, not me, and not even Lara, though I sometimes selfishly wished my sister’s gifts had been given to me instead. I suddenly felt like a total bitch for thinking mean thoughts about Mrs. Rafferty’s tendency to walk around looking like a peasant from a Van Gogh painting, especially because she was actually rooting for me to improve myself. Usually her talks were just: would I please stop cutting class and passing notes to Brandon? Mrs. Rafferty seemed to think I had a meaningful future, and I should have been thankful that she cared. I just knew she was wrong.

Check back in for my review!

Related posts:

1. Liz Wakefield: Professional Jock Matchmaker (Sweet Valley High 51-55)
2. A highly scientific analysis of the Breaking Dawn Part 1 Teaser
3. Liz Wakefield: Sanctimonious Douche With Poor Impulse Control – SVH 31-36 + Spring Fever

So I guess by now you all know that we went to see Breaking Dawn, Part 1 this week? No?  Well, we did.  We went and we made a drinking game, WHILE drinking, which is no easy feat, let me tell you.  Also while staying up waaay past our bedtime.  Of course, the hardest part was deciding which ridiculous things to choose to drink to (like I totally had written down, but forgot to add “take one drink when Edward stands over Bella and watches her sleep ‘for old times’ sake’”).  But I digress.

Here in Austin, John, of this review of the movie-fame, joined me before the midnight show started, and the two of us decided to try to interview as many people as possible — both fans and people who were there to see just how cray this thing was going to get, while Megan no h and Alix, of A Tale of Two Pen Pals-fame went to see it on opening night with their Book Club!  Following are the fruits of our labor.

John and I were really excited to talk to a ton of people who had been in the Twilight Saga Marathon theater.  Partly because they were all really nice to us, but mostly because they had been playing our drinking games all day!  Unfortunately, the theater was dark and also noisy, because everybody was having such a good time, so some of the recordings (like from two ladies who had never read the books, and had NO IDEA what they were in for) were rendered unsalvageable.  Here’s what we did get:

Of course, we weren’t the only ones having a great time!  Look at the lovely ladies from the Washington D.C. area FYA Book Club!

Underneath those winter coats, they have on some amazing t-shirts made by Alix!  Here’s what they look like:

OMG WANT! WANT!  I never thought I’d want a Twilight-related t-shirt, but Alix’s genius has CHANGED MY MIND!  You’d think by looking at them that those shirts couldn’t get any more awesome, but just look what Alix put on the backs!

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!!!  I’m so happy that this website has allowed us to get to know so many amazing and talented people!  Because, I’m SO getting one of these!

I’ll leave you with what was my own personal mission for the night:  getting everybody to say two little words. Thankfully, Posh helped.

Related posts:

1. The Official FYA Breaking Dawn, Part 1 Drinking Game
2. A highly scientific analysis of the Breaking Dawn Pt 1 Trailer
3. In which we get a guy to review Breaking Dawn, Pt 1

If you’re anything like me, you do a fair amount of Google image searching every day. Obvs I do it for strictly professional purposes, like finding YA book covers and shirtless pictures of Thomas McDonell. Honestly, I have no idea how people got their lust on work done before image search was invented. But even though Google is super smart, it is constantly dumbed down and effed up by the internet masses. Like, for ever appropriate image I find, there’s a dozen that make ABSOLUTELY ZERO SENSE. But instead of simply shaking my head and scrolling onward, I’ve decided to harness this WTFery for all of your enjoyment! Because that’s exactly our skill set* here at FYA!

Welcome to our new series, Picture Pages, in which we Google image search a YA-related noun and judge the shizz out of the results! In keeping with the internet’s attitude, we will analyze these pictures on a completely superficial level: we won’t click on any of the images so we can refrain from learning any context clues. Because we choose to remain ignorant! Just like a good internet commenter should!

Sound good? For our first subject, I chose the esteemed and dead sexy Marcus Flutie. LET’S GO, INTERNET!

*Drinking is implied.

1. OK WHAT. The V. FIRST picture that comes up in Google Image search is some random dude with dreads? FAIL. I wanted to add about ten more NOs but then you wouldn’t have actually been able to see the image. (Which isn’t a bad thing, really.) Internet, I thought we both understood that Marcus Flutie having dreads is something we all need to PRETEND NEVER HAPPENED. And don’t think you can fool me with that kitten. No amount of cuteness can hinder the fire of my judgement upon this travesty!

2. It’s a quote from the book! I can’t really discern the pattern within the letters but yeah, this is kosher.

3. I’m guessing that someone thinks Pacey-era Joshua Jackson could have played Marcus Flutie. That someone is obvs wrong, but I went with a “?” instead of a “X” because I didn’t want to incur Erin’s wrath.

4. I gave this image a check, because that’s a quote from the book, but then I had to add an X to account for the shirt’s total fugliness. Just say no to Cafe Press, y’all.

5. It’s Megan McCafferty! Being pretty!

6. What does a cheesy quote mug filled with hot chocolate at Christmas time have to do with Marcus Flutie, God of Sex? Well, they are both things I crave but… that’s about it.

7. It’s boring, but it is from the book, so I’ll let it pass.

8. Um, is that the dude from Incubus? Internet, COME ON.

9. Just looking at this shirt gave me tingles. YES, YOU! YES!

10. Well, well, well. If it isn’t the FYA MLD icon! How APPROPRIATE and INCREDIBLY ACCURATE.

11. It’s lots of photos of hot guys! Note: No matter what I’m Google image-searching, this type of picture will ALWAYS get a check.

12. The iron-on letters aren’t quite right, but yes, it’s a replica of one of Marcus’ day-of-the-week shirts. I could’ve used a bit more arm muscle on the model but c’est la vie.

13. I’m confused. This is a quote from the book… but it’s printed on someone’s wrinkled senior portrait. Quois?

14. Again, why so skimpy on the biceps, Internet? Still, there’s no dreads, so this one gets a check.

15. Aw, 10-Things-Era Heath Ledger would have totes made an excellent Marcus. Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye…

16. This picture AGAIN? Really?! I’ve gotta give it an X for taking up a space that could have featured a photo of, say, Tim Riggins.

17. I love JGL as much as the next gal, but his ability to rock a suit would be totes wasted on Marcus Flutie.

18. This picture reminds me of the 4 W’s of Journalism: WHO. WHAT. WHERE. WHYYYY?

19. Is that Andrew Garfield? Guys, look, the dude will be a cute Spiderman, but can you picture him lasso-dicking? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

20. This picture needs to go back to where it came from, and that place would be A WORLD OF NO.

21. This guy looks familiar. Is he on a CW show? In other news, I don’t care.

And that’s the end of our inaugural session of Picture Pages! Do you agree or disagree with my analysis? Leave yr judgement in the comments. Because that’s what the internet is here for!

Related posts:

1. Pretty Little Liars 2×9: Picture This

Yeah, ok, it’s over. But! If I’d posted about this LAST week, we wouldn’t get to see all of this year’s awesome costumes! So dig out the last bits of your leftover candy — I know you didn’t take it ALL to work, but secretly hid some away for a moment just like this — or go raid your kid’s stash or hit your local RiteAid for the half-price stuff and let’s bid Halloween a PROPER farewell!

First, I have to say you guys are AWESOME. And so creative! I totally can’t remember a single literary costume I’ve ever had, but after this year I’m changing my ways.

From Ginny:

While not Young Adult, everyone loves Madeline! I teach 3rd Grade and our elementary school had a Book Character Parade. I came as Madeline.

What I think Ginny MEANT to say was she came as an ADORBS Madeline!

From Other Meredith:

This is me as Luna Lovegood for a HP costume contest. I should have
won, especially since my date was Zefron dressed as Harry Potter, and
I brought Hedwig. Alas, I came in second place (the winner dressed as
Dobby, and she looked pretty fantastic). Good times.<

Kelly went as Emer Morrisey from The Dust of 100 Dogs! She’s got a bag of eyeballs!

You can’t really tell, but that sliver of arm to her right is our very own Jenny’s very own George, as the (very non-YA) Daenerys and Drogo.

From Sandy:

Attached you will find one Sandy dressed as Pippi Longstockings (circa 1989) and one Jodi dressed as a ballerina banana. That’s not so much literary, but my little sis has always been her own person. And my mom was cool enough she could make it!

I WANT TO BE A BALLERINA BANANA.

From Maggie:

For Summerween this year (Halloween in the summer party), my husband and I dressed as stripper Harry and Hermione — when being an Auror doesn’t pay the bills…

A whole bunch from Laura, including a cute baby. IN JORTS! EEEEEE!

Breaking Dawn. Notice the diapers that look like JORTS. Obviously this is what Jacob would put Renesmee in while babysitting his future wife (ew!)

Hermione from Harry Potter

Buttercup from the Princess Bride

My Halloween decorated office-  the sass combo of Twilight and The Princess Bride

Christy as the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland

Winter as Alice from Twilight

Finally, from our own Posh Deluxe, we have an ACTUAL teenager (and a suuuuuuuper cute Buzz Lightyear)!

I was at a friend’s house on Halloween, and they have kids, so there were a few actual YAs there! And one of them was dressed like Katniss! I was particularly impressed by the thought behind her wound make-up, because she pointed out each wound and how she got it (per the Hunger Games plot).

And even though it’s not a literary costume, I had to include this picture of little Oscar as Buzz Lightyear. Oscar fell in love with that plastic skeleton and carried him around the entire night like a teddy bear. He kept telling everyone, “This is Love. He’s my new brother!” ADORBS!!!

Thanks for sharing, everyone! I’m ready to start planning next year’s costume — point me toward the nearest craft store!

No related posts.

You guys! We have a major holiday coming up! It IS the most wonderful time of the year, but despite what the craft stores and the seasonal aisle at Walgreen’s want you to believe, it’s Halloween, not Christmas (actually, I haven’t been to Michael’s in a while — they probably have Valentine’s stuff out by now). In the grand tradition of holidays, it’s a formerly sacred holiday that’s now been preempted by empty calories, alcohol and slutty, slutty everything. And in case you haven’t decided what to be for Halloween yet, we at FYA Labs done some research for you.

In the spirit of YAngelism, we’ve found some of the greatest YA costume ideas out there (and I use “greatest” in the loosest possible way). Halloween’s a chance to let your inner fangirl out of the closet (literally, ha) without having to cosplay at a con (unless you want to).

PS Yes, we know we’re not the first to do this. In fact, awesome reader Katiecoops sent in a great Smarty Pants on this very topic! We’re possibly the ones with the shiniest hair (Katiecoops too, obvs), though. Or at least the shiniest champ cans.

PPS Dear Google image search, Super Mario is NOT a literary character.

Obviously not everyone shares our immaculate taste in literature or men, because there are a helluvalotta Google hits for Twilight costumes, even though all you need are long-sleeve tshirts, bad wigs and body glitter. But why go generic Edward when you can be Night Time Romeo?

[Source, and I dare you not to lulz at the scoffing, "Except the person in THAT pic looks like a girl, and those eyebrows are WAY too sculpted!" comment. Um, which pic? Cos that sounds like RPatz to me!]

Have better taste than that? Try on Katniss Everdeen for size.

Or do it up District 12-style like FYA readers Anna Marie and Lee did for the Mockingjay Release Talegate:

The classics are always a good place to go. There are plenty of movie adaptations on which to base your look, and you won’t spend hours explaining yourself. OK, you won’t have to explain yourself to anyone over 65 or with a BA in English Literature. The rest of the drunks on 6th St. will probably need at least the Cliff’s Notes.

Regular Alice not good enough for you? Try sexy Alice (not actually recommended)*

[source]

*Am I the only one who has to try not to vom at this? Of all the children’s characters to get tarted up, they have to pick the one written by an older man for a very young girl-child friend? An older man lots of people think was a paedo?

Or you could get all meta and be a slutty Hester Prynne. YOU GUYS WHAT.

[source]

(As a soothing poultice for your poor eyes, here’s the world’s MOST ADORBS Hester Prynne and baby Pearl)

Not into sexy? Somehow I can’t imagine Anne Shirley was either, except with Gilbert because 1. how could you NOT be sexy with Gilbert Blythe and 2. she had a billion kids.

[source]

I WANT TO DRESS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.

If you’re going for children’s book inspiration, may I respectfully suggest you avoid looking like a giant yellow penis?

[source]

Don’t have a kid, but want an excuse to trick or treat? Dress up your dog — who doesn’t love a dog in a costume? This one’s a twofer — Harry Potter OR mythology, your pick for how pretentious you want to seem (also, CUTEST BABY HARRY EVER).

[source]

Or embrace transpeciality with this Aslan dog.*

[source]

*How the heck do people get their dogs to wear costumes? Mine would eat the thing — especially if it was a giant pile of cat fur.

Finally, this one’s my favorite of the understated variety. I don’t know how many people will get it, but I LOVE IT.

[source]

I know I just barely scratched the surface here, but this is where you guys come in! FYA readers are bound to have some seriously awesome literary costumes, and we want to witness your embarrassing past creativity! Email your photos to meghan.at.FYA@gmail.com — they can be of you, your kid, your pet, your ex-roommate whom you’re blackmailing, whatevs — and we’ll feature them in a post next week. Shhh … don’t tell, but there might be a chance to win a prize, too!

Related posts:

1. YA Literary Halloween Costumes
2. saving souls from eternal literary damnation
3. Adult Literary Fiction Can Bite Me: A YA Manifesto

What, you thought I was going to do a Highly Scientific Analysis of the boys of Dawson’s Creek? Are you high? There is only one boy worth anyone’s time, and that boy is Pacey Witter, love of my high school life. If you were in love with Jack, then, well, that probably got awkward for you when he came out. And if you were in love with Dawson, then I just have no words for you. And this is coming from a fellow fivehead who cries in ugly ways.

No, instead, I’d like to focus our Highly Scientific Analytical Beam on the many lady loves of Pacey Witter and see how they rank.  So let’s get to it! Who’s going to come out on top: Ms. Jacobs, Andie, Audrey, Joey . . . or you?

That’s right, YOU, gentle reader.  How do you stack up against the ladies of Dawson’s Creek?  I’m going to presume that you are EXACTLY LIKE ME in every way, by the way.  Or else my scientific data will skew all wrong and I’ll be forced to come up with some pseudoscience evopysch bullshit article to publish in Science Magazine and get everyone all worked up on the internet.  So let’s just pretend that you, like me, were an awkward-looking teenager who hadn’t quite grown into her face yet and never could accomplish whatever the latest hairstyle was and maybe had a passing fancy for the bleached blond boys of the world.  Whatever!  This isn’t important!  We were secretly awesome, you and I.  We just didn’t know it yet.

Here we go!  We’re going to rate the ladies on the following criteria:

• 90s fashion sense
• Resistance to Pacey’s charm (less resistance = higher score)
• Positive influence in Pacey’s life
• Grateful acceptance of Pacey’s grand romantic gestures

Let the Battle begin!

Who will capture this boy's heart?

90s fashion sense

Ms. Jacobs – 5

Well, you’d think that Ms Jacobs would actually have the edge over the other ladies, due to being much older and wiser.  And she doesn’t look so bad here:

Sure, the silk-blouse-tucked-in-brown-wrap-skirt combo isn’t ideal, but it was the 90s, so that is basically the nicest thing a person could get away with wearing.  BUT.  HOLY JEEZ WHAT IS THIS:

I mean, I can’t even form words.  And the fact that this outfit was used as a PROMO SHOT just makes me wonder how much heroin the wardrobe department of this show were consuming per week.  Like, on average.  Probably a lot.

Andie – 7

Andie’s look was fairly unremarkable, but in the late 90s, home to midriff-baring baby tees and pleated-pants “business” suits for teens, sometimes the safest choice is also the wisest.  Andie mostly stuck to cardigans and long skirts, and since I happen to be wearing a cardigan and a long skirt right now, I dig it.  (and docksiders!  I basically am dressed like a Dawson’s Creek extra right now.  I don’t wanna wait!  For my leg hair to grow out!  I want to wax them now, why can’t it beee?)

Joey – 5

I know what you’re thinking.  “Erin, how can you rate Joey a 5 when she and Andie usually wore the same sort of thing?”  Well, first of all, I like Andie better.  And second, Joey once wore this:

Audrey – 6

Wellll, it’s Busy Phillips, so.  You never know what you’re gonna get, really.  She mostly managed to stay trendy without being totally ridiculous, but she had a reliance on screen-printed flower “vintage-look” tshirts that did her remarkable chest no favors.  But honestly, I mostly phased out Audrey’s clothes once Pacey grew that awful goatee.  Actually, she should get some points knocked off for being seen with that goatee in public.  Therefore, she really gets a score of 2.

YOU – 0

Well, I don’t know about you, but I used to wear babydoll dresses WITH PATTERNED MESH OVERLAYS and would occassionally style my hair in a half-up, half-down ponytail where the Half-Up part was CURLY.  Oh, and I used a 1-inch barrel curling iron on my bangs and sprayed them with Aqua Net so that they’d stay perfectly circle-shaped all day.  We deserve nothing for what we have given to Pacey.

Resistance to Pacey’s charm

Ms. Jacobs – 4

Ms. Jacobs actually puts up a fair amount of resistance to Pacey’s charms – I mean, it takes her three whole episodes to give in and do it with him.  But, considering she’s his teacher, it should have taken her 40 episodes, which is approximately 2 years, at which point it’s legal to sleep with your student, if still morally repugnant.  So she gets points knocked off for Fitzing her way into Pacey’s (beautiful) arms.

Andie – 5

Andie actually put up a pretty good fight before she succumbed to the charms of Pacey Witter, as we all eventually do.  It took quite a few earnest speeches from Pacey, plus one car accident, for her to finally see the light.  Oh, Andie.  I’d ask you if you were crazy but that might be awkward, given your history.

Joey – 1

Um, it took FOREVER for Joey and Pacey to get together, and he basically had to throw everything he had at her.  I mean, he rented her a WALL, for chrissakes.  A wall.  You know who has rented me a wall?  No one.  Of course, I’m not sure what I’d do with a wall, but that is neither here nor there.  The point is, if someone rented a wall for me or, say, kissed me so I’d stop talking, or watched me while I sleep .  . . okay, actually, that part is creepy.  But the rest of it was really hot and I would have jumped on that right away!  JOEY POTTER, Y U SO DUMB, BB?

Audrey – 7

Audrey is one of the few people who mutually pursued Pacey, and while she was never my favorite Pacey Paramour, there’s something to be said for a girl who actually sees the potential in front of her.  Well played, Busy Phillips’ Face!

You – 10

You score top marks in this section!  After all, how long did it take you to realize that Pacey was the only guy worth swooning over on Dawson’s Creek?  An episode?  Maybe two?  Either way, your willingness to accept Pacey for the amazing fictional boyfriend that he is makes you the clear winner.  Congratuwelldone!

Positive influence in Pacey’s life

Ms. Jacobs – 0

Oh, sure, she “makes him a man,” but she is his TEACHER.  Not only that, but Pacey totally gets a bad reputation, probably gets a beating from his dad over it, and has to talk in front of the school board about their affair, which always sucks.  Plus he risks his life to help her in a hurricane.  A piece of wood could have blown over and hit him in the head.  He could have died.  In Season One.  Awful, awful thought.

Andie – 9

Andie gets pretty high marks, since she basically reforms Pacey into a model student, allowing him to actually graduate high school on time, plus gets him to deal with some of the heavy stuff he’s been carrying around in secret.  It’s Andie that subtly pushes Pacey to confront his dad about the drinking and the abuse and the neglect, and Andie who’s there for him after he does.

Of course, then she goes to the inpatient facility, sleeps with someone else, and basically makes Pacey’s life hell for a while.  So I had to knock off a point.  Science demands it.

Joey – 4

I’m sorry for saying this, and I swear it’s not just cause she married Tom Cruise, but Joey just wasn’t very good for Pacey.  What happened to him under her romantic influence?  Let’s see, he sailed a boat around, which was good.  He got started in the restaurant business, which was successful for him most of the time.  And he fought with his best friend and went round and round with Joey endlessly because she kept dumping him.  I don’t know.  I just think Pacey deserves better, i.e. a plane to spell out “PACEY IS THE MOST WONDERFUL.  SURRENDER DOROTHY.”

Audrey – 0

Oh, please.  Audrey gets no points for this.  The GOATEE, for crying out loud.  THE GOATEE.

You – 8

I know; I know.  It’s not a perfect score.  We did okay; don’t get me wrong.  We did our very best.  But is Pacey the internationally known wunderkind that he really deserves to be?  When I googled Pacey Witter Fansites, I didn’t even get 10,000,000 results!  Have we really done all we can do?  Have we?

Grateful Acceptance of Pacey’s Romantic Gestures

Ms Jacobs – 3

She fell for the candles-in-the-park gesture, but I’m not entirely sure she displayed the correct amount of gratitude for Pacey fighting a hurricane to get to her or his speech to the school board.  This man has put his life and his dignity on the line for you, lady!  He had to spend an evening trapped in your house with DOUG.  At least acknowledge that!  Or, hell, just give him one good book to turn him into a reader, jeez.  What kind of English teacher are you?  Oh, yeah.  The kind that sleeps with her student.

Andie – 3

It may be the alcohol talking, but I don’t actually remember many grand romantic gestures between these two.  There was too much Other Stuff, like Andie dealing with her brother’s death and Pacey dealing with his father’s assiness and Andie going, you know, a little unhinged, for a lot of wall-renting activities.  So I had to low score Andie.  Sorry, Andie, ILU!

Joey – 8

She may talk too much and cause endless drama, but Joey definitely got the most romantic gestures from Pacey.  I mean, the wall?  The time he told her to go to Paris but then secretly wanted her to sail away with him?  Not to mention the number of times he punched Dawson because of her, all of which I enjoyed watching, because Dawson is the kind of person who should be punched daily.  Joey may have been hard to woo, but at the end of the day, she always saw the value behind, say, someone renting you a wall, and locked that shit down.

Audrey – 0

Ech.  Let’s just skip her and move on.  Goatee!

You – 10

You may be wondering – what kind of romantic gestures did Pacey ever make for me?  Well, other than every day of existing, that is.  Perhaps you are forgetting about PaceyCon ’10, in which Pacey came to ComicCon and read Pacey fan fiction aloud and played the Dawson’s Creek theme song on a boom box?  That was for you.  Pacey does it all for you.  And you gleefully and gratefully accept it and tell him how amazing he is.  On the internet.  Where he won’t actually ever see it.  This detail doesn’t matter, though.  You’re doing an awesome job!  Keep it up!

Alright!  Let’s tally up the scores!

Ms. Jacobs -  12

Andie – 24

Joey – 18

Audrey – 9

You – 28

Congratulations, YOU!  You totally beat out all the other ladies as the greatest paramour for Pacey Witter!!!  To congratulate yourself, go to Youtube and watch fan videos of Pacey and/or just stare at photos of him on the internet all day.  You deserve it!!

Related posts:

1. A Highly Scientific Film Analysis: Get Over It
2. a highly scientific analysis of the new moon trailer
3. A highly scientific analysis of Ben vs. Noel