BOOK REPORT for Catch and Release by Blythe Woolston 

cover story: spine-tingling
bff charm: yay!
swoonworthy scale: 0
talky talk: straight to the gut
bonus factors: fishing, road trip, Edward Gorey
terrifying factor: MRSA
relationship status: unlikley besties

cover story: spine-tingling

So here’s the thing with this cover:  it scares the SHIT out of me.  I don’t think it’s meant to be scary – the book is about two friends who obstinantly go on a fishing trip – but it still scares my pants off.  I think it’s the empty hooks, just sort of dangling in the murky water, plus the font . . .  I feel like this book is going to be about a psycho hillbilly with three teeth who carve up unsuspecting teenaged fishers (after they have a party on the dock, drink, and lose their virginity, obvs) and then dangle their eyeballs in his aquarium full of body parts.

Somehow, I don’t think that’s exactly what they were going for, though.

the deal:

Polly and Odd weren’t friends.  They aren’t friends now, really.  They only know each other because they spent time talking at the hospital – they are the only survivors of a  lethal strain of MRSA which claimed the lives of the other five people it infected.  Three football players.  One lunch lady.  One baby.  Half of Polly’s face and one of her eyes.  One of Odd’s legs.

Polly’s picture-perfect plans of life after high school – graduating, going to a nice, 4-year school, settling down with her boyfriend Bridger – are all gone, and if Odd had any plans for his life, he sure as hell doesn’t have them now.  So when he shows up at Polly’s door and asks if she wants to go on a fishing trip, she decides to say yes.

While the two wander through the Northwest in search of the one that got away, they finally confront their lives-as-they-exist and come to grips with whether those lives are worth living.

bff charm: yay!

Ugh, guys, Polly and Odd really got me.  Like, straight in the gut!  What’s funny is that I’m not sure I’d have been friends with pre-MRSA Polly or Odd, but now that their friends have all ditched them?  Yeah, I kind of love them.

Polly is sick of being treated like rare glass by her mother, but at the same time, she’s afraid to go out of the house and confront the stares of people around her.  She’s bitter and confused and pissed off, but she still has a wry sense of humor about the entire situation and she’s obsessed with watching monster movies (tv is one of the few things, it turns out, you don’t need stereoscopic vision for).  I would SO pop some popcorn and watch the hell out of some Lake Placid 2 with this girl.

And Odd?  Odd is, well . . .  unhinged.  He is a jumbled mess of need, rage, and confusion, and I just want to pet him on the head, tuck him in and tell him it’s all going to be okay.  He’s such a good kid, in the best sense of the word, and even when it seems he’s gone off his rocker, he always has a very good reason.

swoonworthy scale: 0

At first I was a little frustrated that things didn’t turn swoony between Polly and Odd, especially because at the beginning of the book I just assumed they’d be getting together.  But I think it worked out better this way – this is a story about learning to love yourself, not someone else.  Just like they say in rehab (I’ve heard), first you have to take care of yourself, and then you get to take care of a plant, and then a pet and if after a few years you haven’t managed to kill any of those things, you can date someone.

talky talk: straight to the gut

Man, I was so damn weepy during this book!  It’s not even a sad book, as it goes, but it didn’t matter!  Half the pages are still damp with my tears.  Woolston’s writing is evocative and lovely, but she’s not afraid to make her teenagers sound like teenagers, either.  There were so many times I “DUBS TRUE” fist-pumped while reading this book that I can’t list them all, but here are two:

Fishing is all about lies, and not the ones people tell about the monsters that got away.  Fishing is about the lies we tell to the fish and the lies they choose to believe.

and

On the field they crash together, some fast shuffling, then the whistle.  Number 36 is down, not down flat-on-the-back down.  He’s down on his knees like he’s waiting for the executioner’s ax.  People move like ants when you flip over a rock, organized but frantic.

Bridger says, “Don’t worry.  He’s OK.”

. . . Number 36′s back is hunched, his head is tucked down, and his arm swings a little with his breathing.  Every little tick of the second hand is measured in pain.  I can see that; the clench of the body after each ragged breath, that’s the tell.

The others stand around him like bison, massive in the front quarters thanks to the shoulder pads, but narrow in the ass for speed.  You can see the calculation written in the evaporating sweat.  A broken collarbone means . . . and what they can do about it is . . . and what they can do without Number 36 is . . . .

What can we do without Number 36?

A person could never tell from this moment, frozen in the yellow light, that he has a sense of humor.  He wrote funny things on the whiteboards in empty classrooms and everyone, teachers and students, pretended we didn’t know who was making us smile.  In this moment, he is just a hurt animal, and that’s how I remember him.

But none of that matters now, because that game is totally over and Number 36 is totally dead.  His broken bone healed.  It healed stronger than before.  He got faster and bigger and stronger, but none of that matters.  Number 36 became Case One.

bonus factor: fishing

I actually don’t LOVE fishing, because (whispers) I think it’s kind of boring.  ALSO you know that scene in There’s Something About Mary (no, not that scene) where she accidentally hooks him with her fishing hook?  Yeah, I have done that like FIVE TIMES.  Once I accidentally did it to my GRANDPA, y’all.  I’m way too uncoordinated to fish.

That said, I loved reading about Polly’s fishing methods!  It made me want to get out on the lake and catch some catfish!  Instead I just ate a lot of fish while reading this book and then felt guilty about it.

bonus factor: road trip

You guys know I’m a sucker for a fictional road trip!  (I’m a complaining bitch about real road trips, though.  “Can we PLEASE change the station?  Where’s the nearest Buc-ees?  I HAVE TO PEE.”)  I loved traveling through Yellowstone (!!) with Polly and Odd, pretending I was seeing the sights (and drinking their vodka and whiskey).

bonus factor: Edward Gorey

At one point, Odd decides he and Polly need to write children’s books, since their former life plans are now out the window.  Polly decides the book should be about monsters and makes up little rhymes starting with each letter of the alphabet.  I couldn’t help but think of the Gashlycrumb Tinies.  As I threaten people that I’m about to die of ennui on a daily basis, I obviously had to make it a bonus factor.

terrifying factor: MRSA

YOU GUYS.  Nothing in the WORLD scares me more than MRSA.  It has scared me since I was a little girl and MRSA wasn’t even the name for it then and they just called it the “flesh-eating virus.”  I was always a fearful child (I was convinced that acid rain would literally melt the flesh from my bones and I once stayed inside the house for an entire YEAR because I’d read in the newspaper that African killer bees were spotted in my town), but nothing scared me then, or scares me now, like MRSA.  I know several people who have lost their lives to MRSA and many more who have lost their limbs and I spent the first half of this book wiping down every surface in my house with Lysol*.

(Though, as far as these things go, reading this book wasn’t as scary as watching Contagion on an airplane.  Guys?  Don’t do that.)

*Yeah, I know that’s why we have MRSA in the first place!  BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???

(Also just searching for the above photo led me to like hundreds of photos of MRSA symptoms and I AM NOT SLEEPING TONIGHT.)

casting call:

molly quinn as Polly

Polly’s fair and redheaded, smart and spunky.  Obvs I choose Molly Quinn!

aaron johnson as Odd

For Odd, I needed someone who is unafraid to go a little unhinged.   I think Aaron Johnson fits the bill.  (Also, he’s, uh, grown up since Kick-ass.  Ahem.)

relationship status: unlikely besties

Book, let’s be honest.  Even though I’ve talked to your mom a few times on the internet, that’s no guarantee that we were going to hit it off.  When your mom sent you over to my house to play and included a postcard of floating (real) hearts and creepy dolls, it was definitely a bonus, but you still sort of looked like you might chop me up and sell my bodyparts on craigslist.  I was wary, to say the least.

But Book, you really surprised me!  I was drawn to you and your life story almost instantly, and I couldn’t wait to get to know you more.  We road-tripped together, talked about big issues, swapped jokes and cringed at the idea of anyone not showering for several days straight.  By the time our visit was over, I knew we’d be besties for life!  But you’re not allowed to talk about MRSA anymore.  Cause that shit scares me too much.

FTC Full Disclosure:  I received my free review copy from Blythe Woolston and Carolrhoda Labs (TOLD you they were killing it lately!).  I received neither money nor cocktails for this review (damnit!).  Catch and Release was released this Wednesday and is available in stores now!

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BOOK REPORT for The Wind In The Door by Madeline L’Engle

cover story: totally trippin’
bff charm: make it rain/adoption
swoonworthy scale: 3
talky talk: fantastical
bonus factors: science, loyal pet, Body Wars
relationship status: childhood sweethearts

cover story: totally trippin’

Dude, turn on the black light and let’s get GROOVY. Seriously, is there anything better than sci-fi/fantasy covers from the ’70s? No, THERE IS NOT. Like, if this cover was a t-shirt, I would wear the shizz out of it. Who cares about three wolves howling at the moon when you’ve got a mysterious hooded man behind an insanely eyeballed dragon creature, a planet being slowly annihilated, a scary fish-type animal and a sleeping boy with a fro. Don’t do drugs, kids… just look at this cover and you’ll feel high as a kite!

I also totally dig this one, because the illustration of Proginoskes is LIKE WHOAH.

the deal:

In the sequel to A Wrinkle In Time (check out Jenny’s review here), Charles Wallace is NOT being appreciated as the darling genius that he is. Bullies at school are kicking his ass every day, and underneath the black eyes and bruises, he’s starting to feel sick. Really sick. The Murry family is worried, especially because the universe seems to be getting sick too. Desperate to help her brother, Meg and Calvin join forces with Blajeny, a cosmic Teacher, and Proginoskes, a cherubim who happens to look like a clustercuss of dragons. Together, they must fight the Echthroi, an army of beings who extinguish meaning and life like ravenous black holes…. and Charles Wallace might be their next victim.

bff charm: make it rain/adoption

Megatron, you continue to be the strong, independent gal I’ve come to love. You’re so smart and loyal that sometimes I forget you’re only a teenager, but then you remind me by TOTALLY FREAKING OUT when you have to quit hating on a certain asshole authority figure. (I agree, he’s a dick.) So yeah, you’re still stubborn as hell, but I’m glad. Who wants to be besties with someone who’s perfect? (I mean, besides Mandy Moore, obvs.)

Calvin! I wish there had been more of you in this book because YOU’RE JUST. SO. GREAT. You’re honorable and sweet and brave and you know how to wrap up a girl in those muscly arms of yours.

I’d also like to award a charm to Proginoskes (Progo), who is kind of full of himself, and rightly so. He’s got a billion eyes! He can disappear! He can travel back and forth through time! And, most importantly, he believes in a thing called love.

As for you, Charles Wallace, get into my family THIS INSTANT. I want to SMOTHER YOU with hugs, have a quick convo about the meaning of life then book you in a self-defense class.

swoonworthy scale: 3

Gah! I get that this is sort of a children’s book but COME ON. L’Engle, quit holding out on us! Meg and Calvin obviously love each other deeply, and that’s beautiful but WHEN WILL THERE BE PASSIONATE KISSING? They’re teenagers for goodness sake! It’s not like the Echthroi ate their hormones!

talky talk: fantastical

You guys, Madeline L’Engle was, like, on another level. I would say drugs were involved but I know she was religious so I guess she just had a baller imagination. This book is its own universe, complete with unusual creatures, unique lingo and plenty of mind-effery, and it doesn’t wait around for slowpokes to catch up. With that said, the story is founded on a universal truth we all understand: love is necessary for life. There are times when that idea is laid out a little too plainly, but by mixing it in with complex concepts (theory of relativity, anyone?), L’Engle keeps you speeding ahead on an incredible adventure.

bonus factor: science

I feel like I earned a PhD just by reading this book. Mitochondria! Farandolae! Other stuff! My scientific analysis of trailers is gonna be so much more advanced now, you guys.

bonus factor: loyal pet

So, we already know that Fortinbras the dog is a Murry’s best friend, but the real animal star of this book is a black snake named Louise the Larger. (In other news, I just found my favorite band name of all time.) Underneath her totes chill exterior, Louise is a fierce protector of the Murry kids, and even though I’m not the biggest fan of snakes, she made me want to cuddle her. Which is saying a lot because have you ever Google image searched “snake”? Yeah, DON’T DO IT.

bonus factor: Body Wars

At one point in the book, Meg and Co. actually land inside of Charles Wallace’s body. AWESOME! Their experience isn’t as scenic as the Epcot ride (RIP) but still, YES.

casting call:

I completely agree with Jenny’s casting, so I guess I’ll seize this opportunity to cast an adult! Cos that never happens! So yeah, I’m going with an FYA fave who can deftly switch from terrifying to awful to wonderful and back again.

Gary Oldman as Mr. Jenkins

relationship status: childhood sweethearts

When I met this book as a kid, I instantly knew we were kindred spirits. We played make-believe together like nobody’s business, and we laughed and reveled in the impossible. This book embraced curiosity and made me want to learn until my brain was swollen with knowledge. As an adult, I don’t quite connect with it in the same way, but I’ll always cherish those halcyon days of dreams and discoveries.

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Hey FYAers!  A few weeks ago, we posted a teaser chapter for this book, and announced that we were participating in a giveaway for the launch of a new company that will publish active and interactive fiction.  Well, that company is Coliloquy, and they have partnered with Amazon and Kindle to release books in a digital format, giving authors and their readers new ways to interact via books told from several points of view, serials and episodic story-telling.  Read on for my review and enter to win your very own Kindle with the Coliloquy platform already loaded onto it!

BOOK REPORT for Arcania by Liz Maverick

Cover Story: Thank God it’s on a Kindle!
BFF Charm: Yay
Swoonworthy Scale: 4
Talky Talk: Straight Up Gamer Style
Bonus Factors: World Building, Choose Your Own Adventure
Relationship Status: I like hanging out with this book when I’m at my friend’s house

Cover Story: Thank God it’s on a Kindle!

Half-hidden face, girl in a mirror, sparkles? If this cover wasn’t only visible on my Kindle, I’d be brown-bagging it for sure.

The Deal:

Adia’s a bit of an underachiever, but what does it matter? Her twin sister was born with Arcania in her system, and went off with their parents to the spell caster’s world to fight in the battle to save Earth, leaving Adia in charge of taking care of her younger sisters.

All of that changes when Adia wakes up, and her sister’s powers have been transferred to her. Now she has to leave everyone she cares about behind to go to the school on Arcania and join in the fight against the Synelv — that is IF she can figure out how to use her newfound powers and win a spot on a fighting team… without getting herself or anyone else killed.

BFF Charm: Yay

Adia’s got guts, and if I were on a team fighting to save the Earth, I’d definitely want her on my side — even if she didn’t have her powers, because she’s level-headed and kind. What’s more, with this new platform, I get to help her make decisions, which might take a little bit of the spontaneity out of the relationship, but allows me to trump Ariel. I AM part of that world, bish!

Swoonworthy Scale: 4

There’s definitely sparkage flying around between Adia and the school’s top shield, classic Mysterious Loner Dude, Grey. But what happened with Gray and her sister in the past? And why is he so tortured? Can she trust him?

Talky Talk: Straight Up, Gamer Style

Maverick’s writing harkens back to classic serials — it’s full of action and suspense, doling out little tidbits to let you get to know her characters along the way. While I enjoyed this book’s aesthetic, I’m pretty sure it will really appeal to folks who enjoy RPGs. Why? Read on!

Bonus Factor: World Building

Each fighting team is made up of Arcanae with different talents: you’ve got your spellcaster, your shield, a rogue and a healer, at least. And they all have to work together when they travel to different planes to defeat the evil Synelv.

Bonus Factor: Choose Your Own Adventure

You all know how much we like CYOA around here, and with this new platform, it looks like we’re not the only ones! So, much like our own CYOA, readers get interact with the author as each book is being written!

Relationship Status: I like hanging out with this book when I’m at my friend’s house

So, no surprise, I love reading. I also love playing games. But RPG’s tend to either not interest me or stress me out (that tiger in the very first level of Tomb Raider nearly gave me a heart attack) so I tend not to play them on my own. But when I went over to my friend’s house to play a game with her, this book and I met, and we really hit it off! I mean, we don’t quite have enough in common for us to hang out on our own, but I totally look forward to seeing it each week at game night.

FTC FULL DISCLOSURE: I received my review copy from Coliloquy via The Mix Agency. I received neither money nor cocktails for this review (damnit!). Arcania is available for Kindle here.

Want your very own free Kindle with Arcania, plus three other new books from the Coliloquy platform already loaded onto it?

To enter to win, submit a poem — in haiku form — in the comments about technology: your love for it, your hate for it, your love/hate for it! Here’s my very own:

Former technophobe
Now techno dweebic, is lost
without her iPhone

We here at FYA will vote on the submissions and pick a winner next week! Be sure to subscribe to the comments so we can contact you!

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BOOK REPORT for Emily of Deep Valley by Maud Hart Lovelace

cover story: classic
bff charm: yep
swoonworthy scale: 3
talky talk: easy, breezy
bonus factors: kooky old gramps, Minne-fuckin-sota, life after graduation
anti-bonus factor: Alcott-style progressivism
relationship status: like spending time with an old friend

cover story: classic

The most recent release of this book takes (what I believe is) the drawing of Emily from the original cover. This was such an appropriate choice, because the original illustrations are not only charming but provide instant nostalgia and familiarity to all of us Betsy-Tacy readers. I am so pleased the publisher hasn’t tried to “sass” up these covers to make them look like new releases.

the deal:

Emily Webster and the class of 1912 are graduating from high school. For Emily’s friends, it’s the beginning of a new chapter in their lives as they prepare to go to college. But not for Emily. Despite her love of learning and her academic achievements, she will be spending her next year at home. She is an orphan whose only living relative is her elderly grandfather and she feels it is her duty to take care of him. When her classmates leave home, Emily becomes lonely and depressed during her “lost year.” But with a little dedication, Emily eventually finds that learning can take place outside of the classroom and you don’t need college to grow as a person.

bff charm: yep

Emily is more or less the embodiment of many of my personal social fears. She is by no means an outcast, but she has never been on the inside of a crowd either. Her role is that of the fringe friend – occasionally invited to parties or outings, but often left off the guest list. It’s not uncommon for her to hear her friends talking about something she wasn’t invited to – and she’s almost never invited to the exclusive girl-boy parties. Basically that social paranoia that many of us get (which why I adore the title to Mindy Kaling’s book – Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me And Other Concerns) is a reality for Emily. And part of that is Emily’s own doing. She let’s everyone else do the talking and always defaults to the listener role. Plus, a lot of social status is (unfairly) based on whether goes on dates or gets courted – and Emily has little luck in that department.

So Emily’s journey is a very classic Coming of Age, in that we see her change both internally and externally. It’s a slow process, but Emily isn’t reinventing herself – she is just growing the confidence she always deserved to have. She proves that sometimes it’s good to be apart from the people who know you well – that sometimes you need to be around people with no set expectations of you. So while she might not be the most wild and exciting girl in the world, Emily’s got a good heart and would make a great friend. I would be happy to be her friend and treat her as an equal, not as the back-up friend. Her choice in men might make me want to smack her a bit (more on that later!) but we’ll get over it.

swoonworthy scale: 3

Emily spends most of the book hopelessly crushing on a royal juicebox of the first order. His name is Don and he and Emily are “friends” from the Debate Team. Which essentially means Emily is worth talking to at Debate, but in real social settings, Don completely blows her off. Some of the things Don does include (but are not limited to), negging on Emily, acting like he’s too damn good for anyone or anything, only spending time with Emily when no one else is around, ragging on Decoration Day and forcing Emily to take his school picture without even bothering to take one of hers in return (I mean, WHAT, seriously??!) The worst part is that Emily is totally aware that the things he does and says are total asshattery, and yet she likes him anyway. Which is why I wanted to smack Emily upside the head, until I remembered that in high school I had crushes on several variations of Don. Is it a requirement that all teenage girls have at least one crush on a guy who totally shits on them/won’t give them the time of day? Or did some ladies out there manage to possess some sort of common sense gene many of us seemed born without? That said, Don is the worst.

Luckily, Emily meets our Don-foil Jed. Jed is confident (without being cocky), compassionate, fun, smart and a total looker. So while there wasn’t exactly any sexy times (1912!), there was still some good old-fashioned courting.

talky talk: easy, breezy

Similar to L. M. Montgomery, Lovelace’s books often appear to be written for an audience much younger than the books’ protagonists. But unlike L. M., there are 90% less flowery descriptions to wade through. Which means Lovelace’s books are breeze to read through. But the simple language can still pack a punch. For example, when Emily is looking at a photograph of her mother:

For the first time the photograph seemed to take on reality. Her mother had been eighteen once, and she had graduated. She had known this strange feeling that something was ending which you have never really expected to end.

A strange feeling, indeed.

bonus factor: kooky old gramps

Emily’s grandfather is maybe a little senile, but completely lovable. He is a Civil War veteran and loves going on and on about his time as a soldier. Plus, he loves Emily and is super kind-hearted – especially toward children.

bonus factor: Minne-fuckin-sota

If you read a single Lovelace book and don’t want to live in fictional (but based off the real town of Mankato) Deep Valley Minnesota, there is something seriously wrong with you. Minnesota is the shit, end of discussion.

bonus factor: life after graduation

You’re going to be hard pressed to find evidence of it in very many YA books, but apparently there is life after high school. I love that this book begins at graduation, because it’s such a life changing time and seems to so rarely get the attention it deserves.

anti-bonus factor: Alcott-style progressivism

This book has some seriously good intentions, but its dated look at race and class made me feel all sorts of uncomfortable at times. Deep Valley has a large Syrian population and Emily befriends some children who are members of that community. Emily does a lot of great work – trying to help integrate her young friends with the “American” children and also providing English lessons to their mothers. Emily is one of the few people in town who treats those she knows in the Syrian community as equals. But. But. Everyone’s insistence at referring to “The Syrians” (as though they are one homogenous blob of people with no variation or individual personalities) began to grate on me. And every one of “The Syrians” that we met filled the role of the stereotypical, grateful immigrant. They were all just so humble and hardworking and religious and appreciative. ALL OF THEM. So yeah, the intent is positive, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t occasionally find myself squirming in my seat.

casting call:

Mia Wasikowska as Emily

Nick Krause as Don

Josh Hutcherson as Jed

relationship status: like spending time with an old friend

I missed this book growing up, but when reading it for the first time now I had an immediate connection to it (which, I suspect, any Betsy-Tacy fans would). This book was comforting and familiar, like spending time catching up with a dear old friend. This book will never be a replacement for Betsy-Tacy, but it is a solid companion and just further reminds me how I want to spend more time in the world of Maud Hart Lovelace.

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BOOK REPORT for Truth by Julia Karr

Cover Story: Passing
BFF Charm: Yay
Swoonworthy Scale: 4
Talky Talk: Easy, Breezy, Thrillerful
Bonus Factors: Feminism, The Future
Relationship Status: Sister Suffragette

Cover Story: Passing

This book, much like the first in the series, could totally pass for a grownup book. It’s edgy and modern and I felt cool as a cucumber reading it in public.

The Deal:

Spoiler Warning: This is the second book in a series. My review of the first book, along with casting choice, is available here. Spoilers for the first book follow.

Now that Nina is sixteen, and marked with the Governing Council’s XVI tattoo, she knows she’s a target for any man who wants to take her. Because in this futuristic world, 16-year olds are not only legal for sex, but they’re supposed to like it. With whomever chooses to drag them into an alley.

Determined not to become an ignored statistic, Nina joins a small group of girls all working to subvert the government and prove that they are just as capable of fighting the system as anyone else. And what’s more, she’s determined to expose the truth about what’s really going on in the government’s secret programs. Because, as her grandfather always told her: the truth never remains hidden.

BFF Charm: Yay

I give this charm because there are so many things about Nina that I truly love. She feels realistic to me, because half the time she’s just reacting to situations and doesn’t know why she’s doing what she’s doing. I also get annoyed with her. Her obsession with the tiers (class structure) makes me want to sit her down for a chat or shake some sense into her, and there are many times that I just feel like I can’t get super close to her because she hasn’t really found herself yet. But when she does, I’ll be glad I nabbed her early, because I think Nina would be an amazing adult. And her group of friends is just as awesome as they were in the first book.

Swoonworthy Scale: 4

I typically hate the YA trope of the love triangle with a fiery passion. The minute the girl gets boy A and then boy B comes along and she’s all, “Oh, our eyes met, and I felt butterflies in my stomach, but I love boy A… right?” I want to put the book down. I’ll pick my favorite person and stay loyal to them. But I’m an adult. And adults should be mature enough to avoid love triangles, but only because we LEARNED when we were younger that while being the center of more than one person’s attention can be thrilling for a minute, it pretty much always ends in disaster.

But that’s the crux of reading YA romance as an adult. Because on the one hand, I want the girl to make the choices I would make, because I’m invested in the story; on the other hand, if I had a teenaged daughter, I would encourage her to date all of the boys and just have fun. I would not want her to get weighed down by being in a serious relationship when she’s so young. I would not want her to fall in love at 16 and marry that boy without getting the chance to date other people.

If I’m not mistaken, Karr might feel the same way. Throughout this book, Nina proves that she is, indeed a young woman who is still developing. Sometimes she thinks she knows what she wants, but other times she realizes she has no idea.

Talky Talk: Easy, Breezy, Thrillerful

Karr writes as if this is just a fun little thriller: it’s a quick read with lots of action and mystery. But then she throws in some really heavy shit about society and media and the trash culture that’s in our faces every day, and as an adult reader, it sometimes feels mismatched — other times I think she’s a genius. However, when I think about young persons reading it, I think her tone is just right.

Bonus Factor: Feminism

If I had my way, every teenaged girl would read this book. Not for its prose or thrilling content, but for one reason and one reason alone: because it might make them ask questions — about themselves, their motives, society, and the influence of media on our culture. And any book that gets people to ask questions is a book that could help prevent us from the future this book indicates.

Bonus Factor: The Future

Karr’s world is set at some point way in the future, when everyone is driving around in transports, there are miners on Mars, people go the moon like it’s no big, and their language includes words like ‘ultra’. It’s a cross between Blade Runner and Back To The Future, Part 2.

Relationship Status: Sister Suffragette

I kept worrying that this was an anti-sex series. That it was going to somehow turn out to be laden with warnings and cautionary tales. But now, having read the second book, I can say with confidence that I think this book and I actually share many of the same views: that it’s never okay for a man or a woman to use sex as power, and that true equality — among genders, races and sexual orientation — is something we must fight for. That we shouldn’t become complacent. And that we should never stop asking questions.

FTC FULL DISCLOSURE: I received my review copy from Penguin. I received neither money nor cocktails for this review (damnit!). Truth is available now.

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BOOK REPORT for Harbinger by Sara Wilson Etienne

cover story: two strikes
bff charm: proceed with extreme caution
swoonworthy scale: 6.5
talky talk: 2 legit 2 quit
bonus factors: reform school, moral relativism, mysterious loner dude
relationship status: this could be love

cover story: two strikes

All the imagery here is straight from the book, AND it’s actually important in the book. But. BUT! The girl’s wearing a fancy dress! Which never happens! My copy also has a blurb, and I really have a thing about blurbs on the front. Even though this one’s from Tamora Pierce and not Stephenie Meyer, I can’t handle it because it uses the non-word “un-put-down-able”. The only thing saving it from an automatic brown bagging is that the blindfold has a narrative purpose beyond just creating another half face abomination.

the deal:

Faye’s a total freak. Not a triangle-haired, boobless, braces-wearing freak, but a collects-animal-bones, sees-into-your-soul, hallucinates-massive-flooding kind of freak. She has no friends in the Collective — the walled-off suburb created by the middle class when the oil supply peaked and the U.S. entered into the world war over energy, and cities were taken over by destitute scavengers willing to knife a child for a loaf of bread. Her teachers won’t look at her, her classmates won’t touch her, and even her parents won’t speak to her. Finally pushed beyond their limits by Faye’s school-rooftop meltdown, they ditch her at Holbrook Academy, a reform school run by Dr. Mordoch — who happened to be the child psychiatrist treating six-year-old Faye the day she changed from a happy child into a visionary psycho. Faye and the other kids in her new “Family” wake up each morning on the floors of their dorm rooms with red-stained hands and partial memories of the night before, and she knows it has something to do with her weird visions and powers. When her Family member Kel, the hot guy she met in Solitary, offers to help her sleuth out the mystery, she’s all for it — until she realizes he’s trying to kill her.

bff charm: proceed with extreme caution

WHOA. Faye is totally one scary girl. She doesn’t mean to be — all she wants is to have friends who accept her weirdness, and maybe a few hours a day to draw in peace and quiet — but she can look through your eyes and straight into your soul, and when she touches you, she can call up your most painful memories as if she’s the one actually reliving them. Plus, if Kel’s trying to kill her, who knows how safe it is to be her friend? AND there’s the whole terrifying nighttime activity. What I’m saying is, I’m sure Faye is just misunderstood and needs a little love in her life, but I totes am watching my back with this one.

swoonworthy scale: 6.5

There’s some definite heat between Faye and Kel, intensified by the contrast between an instant attraction and sense they know each other and the knowledge each actually knows nothing about the other, and their attempts to learn more. And while the heartpounding action of the book definitely ups the swoon ante — I mean, what’s more aphrodisiac than dire danger and near death? — I am not totally sold on the instant heat. Something about the missing pieces of their history never quite filled in to my liking, though Kel’s definitely a fine MLD specimen. Maybe I read through their story too fast in my desperation to FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT OMG MUST KNOW NOW!!!!

talky talk: 2 legit 2 quit

Damn, y’all, Etienne DELIVERS. This is no paranormal romance, no Twilight set at the Xavier Institute. This shizz is INTENSITY IN ELEVEN CITIES. The school is a total lockdown — they don’t even get enough time in the shower to wash out their shampoo, and the guards carry tasers — so finding out what’s happening to them at has to be done by breaking out and sneaking around, and OH YEAH, the main school building (called the Compass Rose) is a total maze. The book is about as straightforward as the mysterious Path the Buddha-quoting Dr. Mordoch is always quoting, and I spent as much time trying to figure out whom to trust as I spent trying to unravel Faye’s complicated history.

bonus factor: reform school

Holbrook Academy is one nasty place. It’s kind of like those Gay Away camps, where the brochures show groups of smiling kids of various races picnicking on the grounds, or riding horses, or playing basketball, but in reality everyone’s kept in dungeons and submitted to public humiliation for the barest infraction, like reaching for the salt at dinner instead of asking for it, even though it’s sitting RIGHT THERE in front of the plate. The guards patrol with pepper spray and tasers, punishment involves toilet scrubbing, and worst of all, one of the mandatory classes is a group therapy where they’re not allowed to speak unless holding the stupid speaking ball and they’re required to call the teacher “Aunt.”

bonus factor: moral relativism

Etienne sets up a world where the lines between right and wrong blur, and you never know exactly where anyone stands. There are mitigating circumstances everywhere you look, and it’s downright delightful.

bonus factor: mysterious loner dude

I’m not totally hot for Kel, but he’s definitely a nice little MLD. From their first meeting in adjacent cells in Solitary, when he’s the first person to reach out to Faye in ten years, to the way he puts himself at risk for other members of the family, Kel shows he has a soft, warm interior that doesn’t match his brittle, damaged exterior.

casting call:

Alex Meraz as Kel

Damn you, Twilight franchise, for sullying all First Nations actors by casting them! I mean, I’m glad they DID, rather than just going by looks alone, but jeez. Way to make me cringe when I’M doing the casting. Ok, since 3/4 of the onscreen wolfpack time is shirtless, maybe “cringe” isn’t the best word … moving on.

Kaniehtiio Horn as Faye

OMG isn’t she GORGEOUS??

relationship status: this could be love

We rushed through our courtship, this book and I, but every night, something it said to me swims through my brain and I find myself thinking about it at inappropriate moments. I should probably spend a little more time with it before declaring myself, but damned if I’m not ready to proclaim my love to everyone I meet. It’s tough and made me gasp and my heart pound, and it definitely made me think. And no, you can’t borrow my copy.

But one of you can HAVE my copy! Leave a comment, and you might get lucky!

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my review copy from Penguin.  I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). The Harbinger will be available February 2.

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BOOK REPORT for The Knife and the Butterfly by Ashley Hope Perez

cover story: simple and spot-on
bff charm: nay/yay
swoonworthy scale: 3
talky talk: straight up
bonus factors: gang life, H-town’s many facets, kickass gram award
relationship status: thinking about marrying into the family

cover story: simple and spot on

This cover’s design is a bit sparse, with just the stylized bracket-type things containing the title.  I originally liked it because it’s simple, and maybe looks like I’m reading some sort of book about samurais, which might trick some stranger into thinking I’m the kind of person who reads books about samurais, even though I’m not, and then I’d have pulled one over on a stranger and I could quietly feel superior to that stranger, like, “ha ha, person I don’t know!  You thought I was reading a book about samurais but I’m NOT!  My book is better than that!  So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!”   I don’t know why I’m feeling such antagonism for this fictional stranger, but S/HE SHOULDN’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS, OKAY?

Also I liked this cover because I thought the font was super cool, but I really liked the whole thing even more when I read the book and realized just how spot-on the cover actually is.  It’s like the person who designed the cover might actually have read the book!  I KNOW.  CRAZY, RIGHT?

the deal:

Sixteen year old Azael wakes up in a jail cell, last night’s gang fight mostly a confusing haze.  He remembers some parts of the evening – how he and his boys thought to teach a rival gang a little lesson, how the rival gang came a bit more prepared than Azael had assumed.  But the rest is mostly just fog.  Obviously he got picked up, though, since he’s now locked up – only no one in this jail seems concerned with giving him his due process.  No phone call.  No public defender.  No news from the outside.  Instead, he has to observe the girl’s side of juvie.

What might sound like heaven to any other boy locked up in juvie turns out to be only more puzzling to Azael.  Most days, he’s forced to observe Lexi Allen, a strung-out white chick who’s been locked up for reasons Azael doesn’t understand.  He watches her in therapy; he watches her with her lawyer.  But he just doesn’t figure out what they’re both doing there, or why his guards are making him observe her . . . even though he’s pretty sure he’s seen her before.

bff charm: nay/yay

Hear me out, because I’m going to confess something to you guys right now.  I’m a snob.  I’m pretentious and kind of a jerk, and I don’t like most people I meet.  (People who I have met: if I’ve spoken to you of my own free will for more than two minutes, then I like you, trust.)  And I can tell you that, in high school, were I just to pass either Lexi or Azael in the halls (when they show up), I’d avert my eyes and hurry past.   High school Me was certainly nothing to brag about (the most popular crowning achievement for High School Erin came the day it turned out some kid brought a hit list to school and I was pretty high on it.  Trust me, the fact that someone even noticed me enough to want to kill me after he’d killed a few other people first was kind of The Shit.), but I still would have looked down on Lexi and Azael.  Lexi’s a bit strung-out, hooked on xanax and attaches herself to the first guy who will show her any attention.  (Holy shit, Lexi is totally the working class Lady Edith.  Maybe I would like her on sight, then!)  Azael is in a gang, cuts class and spends all his time spraying grafitti on anything that stands still long enough.  Trouble, right?

Except, they’re both so great, really.  They have their problems – Lexi is the product of an affair and her dad mostly keeps her as (one of his many) a dirty little secret.  Her mom is  . . . not even worth taking up space to mention.  She’s moved around most of her life and now she’s stuck at Lamar High School in Houston, which is kind of like Houston’s version of Neptune High on Veronica Mars.  You only go there if your parents are super rich . . . or if your parents work for the super rich.   She’s insecure, she has no one but her grandmother looking out for her, and she has no idea where she fits in.

And Azael, oh!  Azael.  I’m in LOVE with this boy, y’all.  Yeah, he’s in a gang and he’s always finding trouble, but he’s also homeless (the heartbreaking circumstances of which I’ll let the book get into) and fiercely loyal and one hell of a good boyfriend, as it turns out.  He’s lost and looking for some sort of permanence, just like Lexi is.  As a person who has always had permanence and therefore never needs to question it, the two of them just broke my heart into pieces.

So, yeah.  It turns out that, once I got to know them, I’d totally offer Lexi and Azael my BFF charms.  And a place to stay.  And an adoption certificate.  And a tray of brownies.  And a warm blanket, and a friendly shoulder to cry on.  They need all that, and more.

swoonworthy scale: 3

There’s actually no swoon in this book  – Azael is only observing Lexi, so she isn’t really aware he exists.  There isn’t a romantic tension, even though they are connected in some way.  But some of Azael’s ponderings in prison lead him to reminisce about his girlfriend Becca and the relationship they had, and DAMN!  I just gotta say, Azael’s got some moves for a teenage boy!

talky talk: straight up

This is the second book that Ashley Perez has written (I reviewed her first, What Can(t )Wait, and guess what, you guys!  It made the ALA Best Fiction for YA list!  Thanks for listening to me, ALA!  Or, like, reading the book and judging it yourself, I guess, also.) and she is getting even stronger as a writer.  She doesn’t dumb down her language but she doesn’t inflate it either - her teenagers sound like teenagers.  But they also sound like the kind of teenagers we don’t get to read much about in YA fiction. Sometimes, y’all, I just get so sick of upper-middle-class white girls that I could fucking scream.

Perez isn’t afraid to make her characters sound gritty and unpolished, and even when I wince at Azael’s language at times, I celebrate the fact that I’m lucky enough to read it.  But it’s not all sadness and grit – I got some genuine laughs, too:

Maribel was the one who gave me the idea for the butterfly necklace.  I needed something for Becca’s birthday anyway, and Wal-Mart had a couple.  I picked the shiniest one.  It was silver with little diamonds at the corners of the wings and all along the center.  When the lady who opened the display case went to help somebody else, I palmed the butterfly necklace and slipped a cheap-o piece from one of the racks in its place.  I was out the door before anyone noticed what was up.  Anyway, I was changing for Becca, for myself even, but not for Wal-Mart.

bonus factor: gang life

I’m not condoning being in gangs, obvs!  But this book paints an authentic portrayal of gang life – why people join, why they stay – while offering up hope for a better ending.  That’s not to say that the book panders – it just offers up the possibility for something else, something more.  More than that, though, it puts an authentic face on one of the scariest gangs populating the Southern United States (and sort of strangely, Toronto.  I wasn’t aware Canada had crime.) today.

bonus factor: H-town’s many facets

Houston gets a bum rap in most of America (not to mention the rest of the world), but that’s just cause HATERS GONNA HATE.  Houston’s awesome!  It has everything you’d find in a big city - great food, great theatre, concerts, nightlife, plus the possibility of cotracting West Nile!  But one of my favorite things about Houston is that it has no zoning laws – in other words, you can pretty easily find a strip joint a mile from a church and a school across the street from a bar.  And I love that; it’s real life, you know?  Something that really struck me about this book was how it opened my eyes to an even newer side of Houston.  The book focuses on the MS13, and it was eye-opening to think about that aspect of my city as well.  In fact, I finished this book right before going to my friend’s super swank housewarming party in his super swank new house . . . located only a few blocks from where the gang fight in The Knife and the Butterfly went down.  That night, and since, I’ve been looking at my world with new eyes – and that’s what a book should make you do.

bonus factor: kickass gram award

The FYA Kickass Gram Award!

Big ups to Lexi’s grandmother, who is the only person in Lexi’s family who seems to care about her at all.  She’s kind and understanding – the kind of Christian who, when she says she’ll pray for you, means it in the nice way.  Plus she smuggles Lexi baked goods into jail.  That’s a grandma you can count upon!

casting call:

You guys.  I seriously IMDB’d for an HOUR trying to cast this movie.  AN HOUR.   Can YOU find any teenaged actors of South American descent or actresses who are 10 to 15 pounds overweight?  BECAUSE I CAN’T.  Seriously.  Please, someone find me some suggestions because right now HOLLYWOOD IS MAKING ME ANGRY.

relationship status: thinking seriously about marrying into the family

I’ll be honest, Book; I was a little nervous to read you.  It’s just that I love your older cousin SO MUCH, you know?  Like, she really gets me!  And I thought maybe you wouldn’t get me the same way, and things would be awkward, and then I’d be really sad.  But I shouldn’t have worried.  Sure, Book, you and your cousin aren’t really alike, but it turns out I love you just as much!  You’re hard and a little tough and I wasn’t sure if I could break through to you, but then wouldn’t you know it, after a little bit of time had passed I found myself incredibly compelled by your story.

Book, you and I have lived two different lives in the same city, but knowing you has made me a better person already.  I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone I know, and tell them that I’m marrying into your family for life.  I mean, if that one lady could marry two of the Jackson Five, surely I can marry you and your cousin, right?  Right.  It should be fine.  And who cares if everyone else doesn’t understand – you and I know that what we have is pretty damn special.

FTC Full Disclosure:  I received my free review copy from Carolrhoda LAB (who, as an aside?  Are KILLING IT lately with the books they’re publishing!).  I received neither money nor drinks for this review (damnit)!  The Knife and the Butterfly will be released in February . . .

HOWEVER.  Want a nice, hardcover copy for your very own?  (Yes, you do.  Trust me, you do.)  Reply to this post to be entered to receive a free copy of this book!!  And watch out for Ashley Hope Perez’s guest post for us next week, in which she delves into her writing process a bit and tries to make us jealous because she’s living in Paris right now, eating a bunch of croissants every day.

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BOOK REPORT for The Changeover by Margaret Mahy

cover story: WHAT.
bff charm: a self-seeking yay and an all the way yay
swoonworthy scale: 2
talky talk: a comfortable shade of purple
bonus factors: Jacko, New Zealand
relationship status: the blind date that took me by surprise

cover story:  WHAT.

OH MAN HAVE WE HIT THE JACKPOT.  Where to even begin?  Laura’s mom jeans?  Actually, those jeans are an insult to the people who wear mom jeans.  Those jeans are like the people who invented the Hammer pants went back in time and were like, “what can we do to make our future Hammer pants look more cool?  I know!  We’ll invent these jeans made of semi-stonewashed denim which cleverly conceal a couch that people can keep their drugs/colostomy bags/baby kangaroos in!  WE ARE TOO LEGIT TO QUIT!”

And you know, added to that, there is the fact that Laura is embracing some sort of ghost/albino (possibly a ghostly albino) as they stare deeply into each other’s eyes, despite the fact that Sorry (we’ll get to that) isn’t a ghost.  AND it’s billed as a supernatural romance AND there is a Kirkus blurb about Stephen King on the cover and I just LOVE THIS ALL SO MUCH.  I want to put on a hypercolor tshirt – excuse me, thermochromatic; thank you, American Apparel – wear mismatched socks, rock my side ponytail and go to town on this totally bodacious book.

the deal:

Laura (Lolly) is a fourteen year old living in New Zealand (what what!!) and she wakes up one morning with a warning.  See, Lolly’s had warnings before – moments when time seems to cave in on itself, the edges of objects begin to blur and blend together – and they always amount to something bad.  Like the day that she woke up with a warning and came home to find her dad had moved out of the house to live with the young, pretty lady with whom he was having an affair.  Laura tries to explain to her mom that something bad is going to happen that day, but her mom is too rushed to pay much attention.  But when Laura’s younger brother Jacko falls gravely ill, Laura knows there’s only one person she can turn to: Sorenson Carlisle, the seventh-form prefect at her school, the almost-too-good kid from who knows where.  Sorenson . . . the witch.

Sorenson (or Sorry, as he is often known) knows of only one way for Laura to make her little brother well.  She must changeover into a witch herself.

But, check it.  Here’s the REAL DEAL:  The real deal is that I received this book from Alix, of Alix and Lee Pen Pal fame, as a thank you gift for helping facilitate Alix’s 12 Days of Christmas plan for Lee (which, yeah, we’re forcing them to blog about here.  Cause IT WAS AMAZING).  I took one look at the cover, burst out laughing, and decided I needed to review this book IMMEDIATELY.  Because obviously it was going to be the most amazingly atrocious thing ever committed to paper before Breaking Dawn was published, right?  Right?  Wrong.  I actually kind of liked this book.  I KNOW.  I AM AS DISAPPOINTED AS YOU ARE.

bff charm: a self-seeking yay and an all the way yay

Laura is a really nice girl and I totally understood her teenage angst.  Her mom works too much and her dad never remembers to send child support checks, she’s “starting to almost look okay from a distance,” per her best friend Nancy, and her family is pretty poor.  That in itself would have most kids in YA books today whining, but what I liked about Laura was that it was the threat that all that might change – that her mom might not have to work so hard, that there’d be an adult male around to pick up some of the slack – that she really started freaking out.  Because as crappy as Laura’s life is, it’s hers; and sometimes it’s hard to take chances on something new, even when they might mean a vast improvement in your life.

But all that said, at the end of the day, I just didn’t feel like I’d want to hang out with Laura day after day after day and tell her all my secrets.  EXCEPT!  Being Laura’s best friend would actually be so good for me!  Not just because she warnings when bad things are going to happen, but also because if I were Laura’s best friend, she might let me get to babysit Jacko, THE CUTEST KID EVER.  And trust me, I hate kids, so this is one cute kid.

But I would unreservedly give a shining, platinum BFF charm to Sorry, whom I absolutely adore.  (Yeah, I know, even though he’s totally a sexually harassing jerk.  I’m hormonal?  I don’t know.)  Due to the circumstances of his life, Sorry’s tried to divorce himself from all emotion, so sometimes he says cold, unfeeling things because he’s forgotten how to feel.  And sometimes he just says ridiculously hilarious things because he has no internal filter.  Think Damon Salvatore with a mild case of Aspergers.  In order to relate to people, he reads (and gets almost all of his knowledge from) tons of books, including romance novels, and is forever applying the lessons learned:

“If you had read Wendy’s Wayward Heart,” he said, “you would recognize my expression.  I’m trying to look rueful at being caught out in an act of sentimentality.

Laura said nothing.

“How am I doing?” he asked.

Plus, like I said, he’s brutally honest:

“. . . I turned up in the courtyard among the clipped trees, quite out of my skull and then Miryam realized something she hadn’t before – that I was all that she’d intended me to be in the first place, give or take the little matter of my sex.”

“Not so little!” Laura said.

“Well, thanks for your confidence,” Sorry replied.  “About average, I suppose!”

swoonworthy scale:  2

For as much as this is billed as a supernatural romance, I didn’t find myself caring at all whether Laura and Sorry got together.  Don’t get me wrong – it isn’t because I don’t like them as characters or don’t think they’re both adorable, because I do.  I guess I was just having so much fun hanging around them as friends that I didn’t much mind if they got it on or not.

That said, you can so tell this book was written in the 70s, because it’s – gasp! – open and honest about sex and people having it.  Sex isn’t treated like a huge deal; it’s just discussed frankly and maybe even a little sarcastically.  Will wonders never cease?!

talky talk: a comfortable shade of purple

Books written in the 1970s always seem to have a similar style of prose to me – a little overly flowery at times, more content to just describe something at length rather than make the plot all action!action!action!, and occasionally making a rather bizarre left turn into acid flashback territory.  This book definitely had all that, but it also had these little nuggets of simple truth, plainly put, that made me want to, if not exactly fist pump with righteousness, at least write an EXACTLY! next to the page in indelible ink.

“Be that as it may, Sorenson can be civil in order to make me feel comfortable,” his grandmother said.  “We are a fond family rather than a loving one, so consideration is doubly important.  We can’t afford to abandon it as loving families may choose to do out of confidence in themselves.”

And:

“I’ve got to say these things, even though I know it’s the wrong time to say them.  Laura, you are a consolation to me, but you can never be an escape, because I feel responsible for you.  I have to try and protect you and look after you, and anyway, one of the things about sex . . .”  She stopped and began again.  “You make me more myself than I want to be, at times, you and Jacko between you.  And there are times when people make love that they get a rest from being themselves.  Just for a few moments they can become nothing and it’s a great relief.  That’s what I mean by escape.”

bonus factor: Jacko

JACKO, WHY ARE YOU SO COOL?  Guys, this little dude is just the cutest fictional three year old ever.  Remember how just looking at the old Lily on Modern Family (no offense, new Lily!) kind of made you want to reproduce baby-things because she’s just so fucking cute?  JACKO MAKES ME WANT TO HAVE A TODDLER.  And who likes toddlers (other than Mr T, who looks smooth in his sailor suit)?! No one!  Because they’re almost all awful people!  But not Jacko.  Jacko is awesome.  Jacko’s hands have feelings and they get sad when they don’t get Mickey Mouse stamps on them.  Jacko likes to check out the same books at the library as he has at home because he thinks somehow the story will change.  You guys, I am ready to knit this fucking kid a blanket, that’s how much I like him.

bonus factor:  New Zealand

Actually, Laura doesn’t seem to like New Zealand all that much, but it’s probably because she lives there.  Laura, NEW ZEALAND IS SO COOL!  Why don’t you know that?!  One day I’m going to live in New Zealand and I’m going to make a variety of cheeses from the goats and cows that will live on my farm in New Zealand and you are all invited to come eat cheese with me!  In New Zealand!!

casting call:

Man, I just could not come up with suitable Actual Teenagers of even People Who Can Pretend To Be Teenagers for this book.  In fact, I just kept having the same two people pop into my mind:

alia shawkat as laura

Danny Pudi as Sorry

(I know, I know!  But every time Sorry spoke, it was Abed’s voice I heard.)

relationship status: the blind date that took me by surprise

Listen, book, let’s not play around.  You knew I wasn’t into you when I picked you up for our date.  I mean, look at you.  Yeah, okay, I’ve been known to go around town with some pretty shady characters, but I still have standards, okay?  Standards that I can’t let slip for a book for which the cover features a girl in grandma jeans making time with some sort of spectral illusion.  So MAYBE I might have suggested that we meet up for coffee at the airport just so no one I know would see me.  And MAYBE I tried to hide you behind a Town and Country Weddings magazine, as if that would somehow make me look less pathetic.

But I’m going to shoot straight with you, Book.  You really did take me by surprise.  Okay, so you rambled a little bit on our date, and at one point you sort of went on a side trip into crazy land and there were, like, talking tigers and shit, but whatever.  The point is, you made me laugh, Book!  And you made me want to hug a baby!  How many dates achieve that?  Few.  Very, very few.  So not only am I glad we went out, Book, but I might just ask you out again.

FTC Full Disclosure:  I received my copy of The Changeover from Alix.  I did not receive money for this review, but I did receive a cocktail (in the form of a French 75, bought for me by Lee), which may or may not have contributed to the warm feelings I have for Sorenson.  The Changeover is probably available somewhere in your local library’s used book sales.

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BOOK REPORT for The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

cover story: like a mothereffing ADULT!
bff charm: a thousand times yes
swoonworthy scale: 8
talky talk: John Greentastic
bonus factors: non-Nicholas Sparks cancer, Cliff Huxtable Award of Awesome Dadhood, Amsterdam, The Price of Dawn
relationship status: infinite love

cover story: like a mothereffing ADULT!

Oh, hey there, strangers in public. Did this book cover happen to catch your eye? (Perhaps because I’m totally holding it upright on this table instead keeping it glued to my lap like usual.) Are you assuming that I’m some kind of intellectual because I’m reading a book with a cool, quirky but not-trying-too-hard cover? Do you want to ask me about it but fear my superior literary knowledge? Well, I’ll tell you– it’s about a teenager with cancer. Shocking, I know, because there’s no image of footsteps on a beach or stock photos of sad people on the cover! ISN’T THAT INCREDIBLE? Also, yes, I am some kind of intellectual, thanks for asking.

the deal:

So, as I just mentioned, this book is about a girl with cancer. But before you stop reading this review, because you already saw A Walk To Remember and even though you love Mandy Moore you really don’t need more saccharine bullshizz in yr life, I would like to point out that it’s a book about a girl with cancer… written by John Green.

In other words, this is not yr typical cancer book. And by that I mean, it is amazing.

So, Hazel Grace Lancaster has cancer, and she’s been living with it for a while now. It’s terminal, but she’s on a wonder drug that has bought her some time. How much time… she doesn’t know. But she DOES know a lot about what it’s like to be a cancer victim. She knows the medical terminology and the support group spiel and the ideal qualities in a nurse and how strangers will give up their seat for you and how much it will hurt her parents when she finally dies. Yep, Hazel knows a lot about dying with cancer.

But then she meets Augustus Waters, cancer survivor and devastating charmer, and suddenly, for the first time in a long time, she wants to know more about living than dying.

bff charm: a thousand times yes

Hazel Grace, I know you don’t want to form a lot of attachments because you’re dying, but I beg of you, PLEASE BE MY BESTIE. You are incredibly smart and fascinating and thoughtful, and your humor is as dry as I wish your lungs could be. You have an old soul, but I love that you’re still a teenager at heart, so we could spend the afternoon talking about books and life and Big Questions and then spend the night watching bad reality TV marathons. You are so brave, Hazel Grace, and don’t roll your eyes at me– I’m not saying that because you have cancer. You’re brave because you dare to love and be loved, and you give the universe the respect it deserves… while also calmly defying it.

I also MUST give a charm to Isaac, a dude with eye cancer in Hazel’s support group. Isaac is just… awesome. You’ll see. (No pun intended, Isaac! Ok, maybe a little.)

swoonworthy scale: 8

If you’ve read any of John Green’s books, you’re already aware that the man knows how to write an endearingly imperfect boy. And because of this, you might think that you’re prepared for the charisma of Augustus Waters. Well, my friends, I must politely tell you that I DON’T THINK YOU’RE READY FOR THIS JELLY. Augustus Waters is insanely hot. Augustus Waters has a fake leg. Augustus Waters reads books based on violent video games. Augustus Waters puts cigarettes in his mouth but never lights them for metaphorical reasons. Augustus Waters is MAGIC. In fact, he’s almost too good to be true, and then you remember that he had cancer, and he lost a leg, and that sort of thing can transform a teenage boy into an introspective, intelligent and wonderfully vibrant person.

Augustus is obvs fantastic, but what really makes this book swoonworthy is Hazel’s journey in knowing him. From the tingles of newness to the delight of discovery to the baring of souls, their relationship is both whimsically charming and intensely beautiful. And I’m probably going to use one of their conversations as a reading at my wedding. SO YEAH.

talky talk: John Greentastic

Like Sara Zarr and other YA greats, John Green deserves his v. own talky talk category. His books are always witty, always thoughtful and never condescending. He crafts authentic yet entertaining characters, compelling story lines and dialogue so real, you think the pages are breathing. So when I say what I’m about to say, you might not believe me. You might not think it’s possible. But, you guys, I’m pretty sure that this novel is his best writing to date. I KNOW, I know, but hear me out. See, it’s not as quirky or as funny as some of his other books, but that’s exactly why it’s so powerful. It feels like Green took risks with this book– serious, emotional risks– instead of relying on that indie cheekiness that’s made him so successful. And while there were still a few times when I felt like the quirkiness was laid on a bit thick, I was too busy being TOTALLY DESTROYED (and then resuscitated, and then destroyed) by the soaring height and raw depth he achieved with his masterful, creative, brilliant use of words.

I also want to point out that even though I totally predicted a major plot point, I didn’t guess just how affected I would be by all of the twists and turns along the way.

bonus factor: non-Nicholas Sparks cancer

It is downright REFRESHING to read a book about cancer that isn’t schmaltzy and melodramatic and ready to be turned into a Lifetime Movie. Hazel’s battle is painful and scary and sad, but it’s also become normal for her. It’s a part of her life. And it was enlightening for me to experience not just the highs and lows of that life, but also its mundaneness.

P.S. If this book does get optioned for film, I really hope that Hazel’s breathing tubes (which she wears all of the time) will keep any pop-star-turned-actress FAR, FAR AWAY FROM IT.

bonus factor: Cliff Huxtable Award of Awesome Dadhood

The Cliff Huxtable Award of Awesome Dadhood

First, I have to point out that Hazel’s mom is also super, duper awesome but OMG HER DAD! HER DAAAAAAD!!! I ADORE HIM WITH ALL OF MY BEING!!! He loves Hazel so much, and he cries easily, and he’s wise, and he totally straight talks her. Here’s one of my favorite exchanges between them:

… Dad still had his arm around me, and I was kinda starting to fall asleep, but I didn’t want to go to bed, and then Dad said, “You know what I believe? I remember in college I was taking this math class, this really great math class taught by this tiny old woman. She was talking about fast Fourier transforms and then she stopped midsentence and said, ‘Sometimes it seems the universe wants to be noticed.’

“That’s what I believe. I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it–or my observation of it– is temporary?”

“You are fairly smart,” I said after a while.

“You are fairly good at compliments,” he answered.

bonus factor: Amsterdam

I won’t spoil it for you by explaining how, but through an awesomely weird, very John Green-esque twist, Amsterdam has a lovely cameo in this book. And now I want to go to there. BUT NOT BECAUSE OF DRUGS. I swear.

bonus factor: The Price of Dawn

Augustus Waters’ favorite video game (and book) is the Price of Dawn, a super violent macho-fest starring Max Mayhem and his sidekicks, Manny Loco and Jasper Jacks. Obvs it’s based on real trends in video games, and obvs, it sounds AWESOME!

casting call:

MAN, this is a tough one. We need legit good actors for these roles, PLUS Augustus has to be dreamy, PLUS Hazel has to look kinda like Natalie Portman (as indicated in the book), so I went with these superstars:

Shailene Woodley as Hazel

Tom Sturridge as Augustus Waters

relationship status: infinite love

There’s a part in the book when Hazel talks about experiencing an infinity of love. And that’s exactly how I feel about this story. I wish I could copy and paste it here,  but I don’t want to spoil it for you, so we’ll have to settle for my inferior words. But this book, OH this book. This book slayed me. This book inspired me. This book made my eyes insanely puffy for days because THE CRYING. SO. MUCH. CRYING. (Like, I’m not playing with that DNRIP tag, y’all.) But most importantly, this book filled me with a sense of awe, of wonder for the ordinary magnificence of life. And because I have an infinite love for this book, I don’t mind sharing it with others. In fact, I want to share it with as many of you as possible, so please, please go out and read this and laugh and cry (oh, THERE WILL BE TEARS) and freak out and spazz out and just FEEL IT. Feel it deeply. And then come back here so we can celebrate it together.

Related posts:

1. love squared (or squares in love)
2. Pretty Little Liars 2×16: Let the Water Hold Me Down
3. blood sausage, hold the roasted garlic

BOOK REPORT for Graffiti Moon by Cath Crowley

cover story: two winners
bff charm: DEF!
swoonworthy scale: 6
talky talk: double trouble
bonus factor: Banksy
relationship status: let’s stay up all night together

cover story: two winners

Above are the two alternate covers on the left (US version) and the right (Australian version), and (for once) I actually like them both! The US version has a decent enough photograph and I like the graffiti title. I don’t love the cover, but I like it and it certainly won’t embarrass me. The Aussie version is my favorite of the two, because it is the bomb dot com. Love the spray paint can – it’s simple and classy.

the deal:

Lucy is obsessed with a guy she’s never met. He’s a graffiti artist named Shadow and Lucy (an artist herself) has been convinced by his artwork that he is the perfect guy for her. And considering her only relationship experience is with fictional men (and that one epically bad date she had in Year 10), pining over someone she’s never met could be considered a step up. On the last night of Year 12, Lucy’s self-proclaimed psychic friend Jazz predicts they will have an eventful night. Which might turn out to be true after the girls run into a group of guys who claim they know Shadow and can help Lucy find him.

bff charm: DEF!

Lucy! I love Lucy! She’s smart, talented and an unrepentant dork. She doesn’t get hung up on anyone finding her weird and genuinely is surprised by anyone not liking her. It’s not that she’s cocky, it’s just that she’s fun and cool, so why wouldn’t you like her? When she and her friend Jazz wrote lists of all the people they would do, Lucy’s list was comprised entirely of fictional people. Which, I’m pretty sure most of the people reading this website who can relate. She’s feisty and may have once broken a guy’s nose after he touched her butt. She’s open about her feelings and is willing to take chances. Basically, Lucy is an awesome girl and totally worthy of emulating or befriending.

Ed is our other main character and I really liked him too. Maybe not as much as Lucy, but she’s hard to top. Plus, there are some pretty great (Leo! Jazz!) side characters as well.

swoonworthy scale: 6

Things between Lucy and Ed don’t get too heavy for the most part but there is a great deal of delightful tension. The tension feels so genuine and not manufactured – you understand why nothing has happened yet. The best part is how believable it feels as these two characters begin to like each other. The time span is so short and yet I completely buy these two and their growing feelings. Nothing about it feels superficial or rushed. The progression feels so natural, so real and that to me is more romantic than something with elaborate gestures and grand proclamations of love. There is one scene in particular where these two are lying on top of a van and the whole thing just seems so realistic. Plus, Lucy and Ed have a colorful history, so it’s funny to see them overcome their past.

talky talk: double trouble

This book alternates between the first-person narration of Lucy and Ed (with the occasional poetic interlude from our friend Leo). It’s a technique that can work really well for two characters getting to know each other (but can be obnoxious when the two characters are overwrought and ridiculous). Luckily for us, neither Lucy nor Ed is ridiculous and their voices felt very authentic. One of my favorites passages is from Lucy, when she and Ed are discussing his deadbeat dad:

“What was your dad’s name?” I ask after a while. “John. Mum can’t remember his last name.”

“Imagine loving someone enough to sleep with them and then forgetting their name,” I say.

“She didn’t love him. You don’t have to love someone to have sex with them.”

“I know that,” I say, trying to act like I’m not embarrassed for thinking love and sex are the same thing. I know they’re not, but I want them to be close enough to at least brush against each other as they pass.

Oh, Lucy girl, I adore you. That’s probably one of the best single lines on sex I’ve seen come from a YA character.

bonus factor: Banksy

Shadow and Poet are a graffiti artist team that paint pictures and words all over the city. What they do is part art, part commentary and completely illegal. So their identities are a closely guarded secret. This book will be a treat for anyone in need of some art appreciation.

casting call:

Since this book is another example of Australia’s batch of awesome YA writers, I made an attempt to cast some Aussies.

Mia Wasikowska as Lucy

James Frecheville as Ed

relationship status: let’s stay up all night together

Here’s the truth – I’m a bit of a hard sell when it comes to contemporary YA. And one of tropes that almost always fails me (yet tends to be a favorite for many others) is the meet-cute and fall in love within a very short time frame plot. And yet, this book is an example of that setup that I absolutely loved. Some might even say…I’m over the moon for this book. (Yeah, I went there.) I began the night with this book and was surprised how good our conversation was and how naturally our feelings began to develop for each other. We spent all night talking and by the time the sun came up I knew this book and I had something very special, indeed.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a free review copy from Random House, via Netgalley. I received neither money nor cocktails for this review (damnit!). Graffiti Moon is available now to those in Australia and available February 14 to the rest of us.

Related posts:

1. I see the moon and the moon sees me
2. There’s a New Moon on the Rise
3. I’m a-going to dance with my princess, by the light of the magical moon…