About:

Title: The Vampire Diaries S8.E06 “Detoured on Some Random Backwoods Path to Hell”
Released: 2016

Previously: Seline kidnapped Josie and Lizzie, Damon turned off his humanity (again), and Bonnie saved Enzo with the Power of Love.


What Went Down

Seline, Sybil and Damon are on the road with Josie and Lizzie while Alaric, Stefan, Matt, and Caroline organize a man-hunt. Caroline doesn’t want Stefan to come along because she doesn’t want his Damon-feelings to get in the way of her Damon-murdering. Fair enough. Seline tells Damon and Sybil that she’s going to propose to Cade (The actual Devil) to take the twins and let Seline and Sybil free from their eternity of servitude to him. Cade hears Seline’s proposal, but ends up taking Sybil up on her sneaky counter-offer: taking the Salvatores instead.

We all know Stefan was never going to let Cade have those baby girls and he doesn’t blink before agreeing to give his immortal soul to the Devil. Damon is more than happy to go along for the ride; he’s pretty sure he knows how to un-damn himself. I shoulder-shrug because he doesn’t seem so concerned that he’s just ruined his brother’s entire life. AGAIN.

Sybil worms her way back into Enzo’s subconscious via cell phone and Bonnie asks Stefan to go into his mind to help him. He sees Sybil torturing Enzo, but is able to get a location on where the sirens have the girls. Stefan agrees to meet with Sybil – part of her counter-offer plan – if Sybil agrees to leave Enzo’s mind. 

Stefan returns the twins to Alaric and Caroline. It’s not until later that he tells her that they need to get married TOMORROW because he only has one day left before his eternity in burning torment. Caroline is understandably devastated, but if the preview for next week is anything to go by it’s going to be quite the interesting Christmas in Mystic Falls. 

Alaric and Matt mutually support each other’s rage at feeling completely impotent in the face of supernatural beings…and they go to the bar to kill Damon. How did we get here, people??

Holy CRAP

  • Sybil double-crossing Seline is petty AF and I love it.

  • The Salvatore Brothers are going to hell. I mean, I don’t really know what else to say here.

  • Enzo has the moral fiber of President Jimmy Carter, and I love every single #BEnzo moment.

Vamp of the Week: Caroline Forbes

Even the perfect-in-every-way Caroline Forbes makes mistakes. Shutting Stefan out of finding the girls is what ultimately led to his sacrifice, but she came quick with an apology and took responsibility for her actions. She also put Alaric in his place after he tried to tell her that she isn’t really Josie and Lizzie’s mom just before telling him to take the girls away and keep them safe until all of this siren nonsense is over. Oh Caroline. Those girls are never safer than when they’re with you. 

Hero Hair/Nefarious Grin

Hero Hair: I’m not sure Stefan’s hair could get anymore heroic. He sacrificed his soul – and his future with Caroline – so that she and Alaric could have their daughters back safe and sound. Someone get this man a contract with Vidal Sassoon already. (Is Vidal Sassoon still around? Did I just seriously age myself??)

Honorary Heroic Hair Pomade: Matty, your newfound respect for Enzo – who you spent most of last season wanting to put in the ground – is pretty admirable. You’re always happy for your friends when they find love, even though you have been WOEFULLY unlucky yourself. 

Nefarious Grin: I don’t know if I could be any MORE disappointed in you, Alaric. Your unwarranted explosion at Caroline – the woman who IS a mother to your kids, shared DNA or NOT – could have seen you to getting punched in the face. And killing Damon?? FORMER BFF DAMON. The writers are pulling NO punches this season with tearing our hearts out. HERE FOR IT.

Sound Bites

I’ll tell you, I could give a damn about your plans, because they’re never going to happen. I’m going to find you, and I’m going to kill you. No discussions, no last minute pleas for my sympathy. You have been in my home with me, and somehow in all your scheming you’ve missed just how far I’m willing to go to protect my children. I’m not coming for you. I’m coming for them. But the longer you run, the more I’m going to hurt you. – Alaric [to Seline]

Bonnie Bennett, to me you’re the whole damn world. – Enzo

Let me be perfectly clear, Stefan. If Damon gets in between me and my girls, I am going to kill him. So no, you cannot come with me. Don’t say anything. Just listen. Until this is all over, there is no us. There is only me, and my kids, and their father. They’re all depending on me, and I can’t afford any distractions, or compromises, especially when it comes to your brother. – Caroline

Bonnie: I just hope you know I appreciate how hard you fought to get back to me.
Enzo: It’s what I do. It’s what I’ll always do.

Caroline: You have no right to cut me out of this. Those are my kids!
Stefan: And you’re going to be my wife, and Ric is my friend, and Damon is my brother. I have the chance to fix this for all of us so that’s what I’m gonna do.

Get the kids out of the car seats. Let’s go summon the Devil. – Damon [to Seline]

Burning Questions

  • Is Sybil going to be able to bring back Ripper Stefan?

  • We only have ten episodes left, so who is going to be making a cameo? I want ALL the cameos. Except Uncle John. He’s awful. 

Why is our show trying to make us believe that Damon is dead? I mean, REALLY.


About the Contributor:

Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.

Categories:
Tags:

This post was written by a guest writer or former contributor for Forever Young Adult.