BOOK REPORT for the absolute value of -1 by steve brezenoff
bff charm: no, but maybe a hug instead?
swoonworthy scale: 3
talky talk: 2 legit 2 quit, motherf*cker
bonus factors: stoners, it’s a wonderful life
relationship status: it’s complicated
the deal:
lily, noah and simon are, to put it lightly, pretty fucked up. and i don’t mean that in the party sense (although all three are total stoners). lily’s got a shiteous mom, a paralyzing habit of hypothetically arguing with herself and a hopeless crush on her best friend, simon. he, of course, doesn’t really give a shizz, esp. since he’s got a super sick dad and a sister who may or may not be wanting to FITA it up with him. throw in noah, who dreams about lily when he’s not busy selling drugs or getting punched by his father, and we’ve got ourselves one of the most miserable love triangles ever. seriously, y’all, these three make the angst in twilight feel like a dose of prozac. but the most tragic thing about them isn’t the unrequited love– it’s the damage they share, which instead of serving as common ground, slowly pushes them further and further apart.
bff charm: no, but maybe a hug instead?
it’s not that i don’t love these characters (well, besides simon. i kind of sort of hate him). i really feel for noah, and lily could definitely use a bona fide bosom buddy. but i just don’t know if i have the strength to take them on as friends, let alone bffs. noah, for example, has a good heart, but he covers it up by being REALLY HYPER AND OBNOXIOUS ALL OF THE TIME. lily, god bless her, has massive craters in her self-esteem, most of which bear a striking resemblance to simon, not to mention an inability to express her emotions in a remotely healthy way. honestly, before i would even THINK of giving either of them a bff charm, i would give lily a stern You’re So Much Better Than Him lecture and noah a visit from CPS cos GAH HIS DAD IS A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING (i’d also probably give him a brochure on just how much pot is too much). and then i’d give both of them a hug, because they really, really need it. of course, lily would probably kick me in the shin afterwards.
as for you, simon, WTF DUDE. listen, i get that yr dad is sick and that’s really terrifying and sad and i can’t say that i know what that feels like (thank goodness) but THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO BE AN ASSHOLE 24/7. i mean, 12/7, maybe. but ALL OF THE TIME? i want to rip out yr damn earbuds, throw yr emo journal in the trash and make you apologize to lily RIGHT NOW. also, henceforth i will be referring to you by the nickname noah so aptly bestowed upon you, The Crowned Prince of Sadness.
swoonworthy scale: 3
gah, the sexual tension/romance in this book is all kind of cussed up. i mean, on purpose, obvs, but IT MAKES ME V. UPSET AND I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE SO LET’S MOVE ON.
talky talk: 2 legit 2 quit, motherf*cker
ok, first of all, MAJOR MAJOR pants to steve brezenoff for writing some of the most authentic teen dialogue EVER. and i don’t mean he uses “like” a lot. i mean he uses profanity a lot. A LOT a lot. and it’s completely dynamic and real and would even make a sailor (or FYAer) blush.
second of all, the book is divided up into the three perspectives of lily, noah and the crowned prince of sadness, and brezenoff completely nails each one. and just when you think shizz is real enough, IT GETS REALER. even though the characters are going through the same story, there’s a lot of variance in their accounts due to individual perspectives and baggage. so whenever i spotted a difference between, say, how lily reported something and how simon viewed something, i had a sort of eureka moment, kinda like when the detectives on law & order (RIP) separate two suspects and discover discrepancies in their story. except instead of yelling, “BUSTED!” which i would totally do if i was on law & order, i just felt even closer to lily, noah and yes, even the TCPoS, because i gained a deeper understanding of not only their reactions, but *why* they had those reactions.
bonus factor: stoners
DUDE. dude. if you were a stoner in high school, or even if you were like me and simply knew OF stoners, you will appreciate the accuracy of the pothead lifestyle in this book. i really admire brezenoff for featuring drug usage in his book without being all DARE about it.
bonus factor: it’s a wonderful life
ok, bear with me here for a second. you know how george bailey thinks his life is a hellhole of misery and then he gets to see how much worse it would be if he didn’t even exist, so he realizes that his life, is, in fact, awesome? well, let’s just say that after experiencing the misery of lily, noah & TCPoS, yr past teen self is gonna feel a LOT like george bailey.
casting call:
mae whitman as lily
mae could totally bring lily’s bitchiness while effectively conveying her inner desperation.
evan peters as noah
i mean, this dude practically has “drug dealer” stamped on his forehead. plus i know he could make noah likeable, even in his most hyper/stoned moments.
rory culkin as simon
just LOOK at him. the dude was born to play The Crowned Prince of Sadness.
relationship status: it’s complicated
you guys, i don’t know WHAT i’m going to do about this book. i’m drawn to its intensity, its rawness, its pain, and i desperately want to help it. but i can’t. and even if i could, i would be robbing it of the things that make it so brilliant. it’s like dating an artistic genius– you only get to experience the dizzying moments of beauty if you’re willing to put up with the terrible moods and erratic behavior. when this book and i are together, it’s crazy intense, but i know that if we stay together, it will break my heart. i’m an optimist, this book is a pessimist. i’m a happy person, this book is a manic depressive. we’re not talking tomato, tomahto here. but even though i’ll have to let this book slip into my past, i’ll always be thankful for the darkness it showed me, because it makes the light that much brighter.
FTC Full Disclosure: My review copy was a free ARC I received from Carolrhoda Lab. I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). The Absolute Value of -1 comes out on September 1st.
PS: i have an copy of the book to give away! so if you feel like you can handle the tortured awesome, leave a comment and i’ll pick someone at random.
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Hmm sounds interesting/I love free books!
This sounds like something that I NEED to read.
well congrats, CT, cos yr need is about to be FULFILLED. i picked two random numbers and then chose the comments that corresponded, so you’re one of our book winners! send yr address to: foreveryoungadult at gmail dot com.
Oh man, I don’t know if I can handle this book, PD. I sort of feel like every tortured, co-dependant relationship I’ve ever had is going to resurface through Brezenoff’s awesome writing. But, Steve, I’m feeling strong. I am totally going to sneak this near the top of the TBR list, but maybe make sure I have a healthy dose of unicorns and rainbows to wash it down with.
Thanks for the fascinating review. I’d love to read this book!
ok, the other folks never sent me their addy, so i randomly picked two more comments and yrs was one of them, kellye! send us yr address!
This book sounds intense! I love the idea that the POVs remember things differently – I think a lot of books miss that with multiple viewpoints.
elizabeth! send me yr address! you just won yrself a copy of this book!
I’m anxiously waiting for September, just so I can read this book. It’s been on my To-Buy list for months! I love this review, it makes me want to read it even more.
Wow, great review! This sounds like the perfect fall read. When you’re still happy enough from summer to handle it.
Damn, sounds like quite the book experience. I’m definitely intrigued, and will be giving it a try!
Wow this book sounds so amazing and raw, like you said. This is one that I’m definitely going to have to read once it comes out this fall.
well, guess what, katherine, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT TIL THE FALL! HUZZAH! yr comment corresponded to the second random number i picked, so send yr address to foreveryoungadult at gmail dot com and i’ll send you the book!
I can handle stoners, lousy musician, depressed artists, damaged goods…In fact I met plenty who fall into the category and I quite enjoy reading about the category.
This review has made me want and feel I NEED go out and read this book, if, for nothing else, the pure joy of having a George Bailey moment when it’s over.
Though, from the sound of it, I’ll enjoy all the craziness that happens before I get to that moment!
I think I am attracted to this book because the review says it shows how people react to the same situation in different ways, yet, also tells why. I am interested in the whys. Thanks for writing it. I could probably skip some the profanity, but then, would it seem real without?
Mmm, the combination of the name “Simon” and your description of having a relationship has simply resulted in my thinking of Simon Rex on Felicity and COME BACK, SIMON REX! Let’s have sex in your studio and then you send me flowers because you’re sensitive!
err, having a relationship with an artistic genius, that is. obvs.
I can say, as a teenager, that it would be f*cking brilliant to read a book that perfectly conveys the amount that I swear on a daily basis. I mean, we’re talking swearing when I wake, swearing before I go the sleep, swearing at the dog because he doesn’t understand and that makes it okay… I actually try very hard not to swear on here, because I know that you are all mostly adults and may very well look down on my pirate-like language, but I really do swear a lot more than this.
Also, as somebody who also knows potheads, it would be wonderful to read about this very real part of teenage culture without feeling like this book was a government brochure against this type of behaviour. It’s insulting to think that they aren’t ware of the choices they’re making (even if they are the wrong choices… ahem).
And finally: Ah, angst! I love a good book full of hot, steaming angst. Woe is me, mayhaps, for being such a glutton for punishment, but there’s nothing like angst to make your own life feel fabulous.
I have 5 grandkids, all teenagers. They might like reading this. Personally, I could do without the F word but I know that it’s out there so suppose that I could live with it.
Sounds like it’s gonna be a tad bit to dark for this already pessimistic girl! Thanks for the awesome recap though, it’s like I was almost there.
I’ve read this book. I like this book. And I liked this review. Hey! for the truthiness of the talky talk evaluation.
I hated this book. Sorry. I thought it was poorly written.