even though we’re discussing our OMG/WTF moments in the semantics post, i still have a LOT of WTFing to get out of my system because CAN THIS REALLY HAPPEN? does anyone know anyone at NASA we can call?!!! is bruce willis available for potential earth-saving?
before i start start digging a bomb shelter under my apartment complex, let’s put ourselves in miranda’s place (and then quickly get the eff out of there because THE MOSQUITOES ARE COMING TO KILL US).
compare yrself to miranda:
- would you be more or less afraid?
- would you be more or less likely to accept how bad things really are?
- how would you react to yr (miranda’s) mom?
- how would you react to megan and/or sammi?
- would you have a plan for how to deal/survive? what would it be?
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1. Much, MUCH more afraid. Because being hungry is the LAST thing I would be worried about.
2. I feel like I’ve spent my whole life reading (or, PREPARING) for the post-A. I think I could accept the reality PRETTY quickly. That said, I also might be one of the first people to off myself. My fiance always gets mad at me because he’s convinced I will be like the wife in The Road. I think that assessment is correct.
3. I would tell her to STOP CLEANING.
4. I wouldn’t even BOTHER talking to Megan. She is way too lame/scary. Sammi I would be sad for BUT I TOTALLY GET IT.
5. Canned food. Bottled water. Medicine. Guns. Ample reading material. Fuel. Not necessarily in that order.
i’m the same way, re: #1. i kind of want to slap miranda upside the head every time she goes, “but, you know, things will be normal in three months, right? we can’t POSSIBLY need this much kindling, can we?” it’s obvious that girlfriend has never, ever watched a disaster movie. which is actually a huge omission on pfeffer’s part cos if i’m alive during the apocalypse, i’m totally going to base all of my actions on movies and books. and by that i mean, i’m going to find will smith and NEVER LEAVE HIS SIDE.
Yea, seriously! You know how some zombie comedy movies (zombedys?) will get all meta and the characters will be all like “oh, I know what to do bc I know about fictional zombies.” Well, why isn’t there a disaster movie that does that?? Where the characters like “I’m not going to do this or this stupid stuff, I HAVE SEEN THIS SITUATION BEFORE!!!!”
PS. God, I love Will Smith. Jeff Goldblum can hang out too.
5. People, do not forget this about the food, coz I wanna know y’all is okay in a Moon Situation:
YOU MUST HAVE OR BUY A CAN OPENER. Or you MUST BUY POP-TOP CANS. And the can opener? Cannot be ELECTRIC!!!! I kept waiting for Super Mom to check, recheck, and check again that the fam had hand-held can openers to last them for…well, life, but this point seems to have escaped Pfeffer.
Why do I care? Coz in my post-natural-disaster real time (Northridge quake, 1994), I HAD NO CAN OPENER. And, natch, no one had any to sell. At that time, pop-top cans weren’t around. So maybe I’m being a Super Mom Who Thinks of Everything and Saves the Family and Even Buys Baby Clothes. But post-apocalypse, a can-opener might be the last thing between you and chomping on Fluffy. Jus sayin.
good call, schuyler. I HAVE A CAN OPENER. i just don’t have… any canned goods. at all. so i’m gonna be one of those people running around the grocery store and ramming my fellow citizens with a cart just so i can get the last can of peas. and i HATE PEAS.
True confessions! I am a running ad for disaster preparedness, but don’t have any canned food, or bottled water. And no groceries at the mo. Haven’t had lunch or dinner today. Holy Horton! I could seriously tuck into some peas right now, and I HATE PEAS, too!
Yay! I’ve got a can opener! Check!
Shabbygeek, You will not be First to Die in the post-A! wOOt!
I would def be more afraid than Miranda. Hell, I’m already one of those people who are always picturing all the freakish ways in which one can die (lightning bolt, pushed under subway train, plane crash, etc etc…and those ones are comparatively tame. I never even considered TSUNAMI CAUSED BY ASTEROID HITTING MOON (until now). THANKS A LOT SUSAN BETH PFEFFER!!!
Also, I know they’re not super central characters, but I keep thinking about Lisa and the baby and oh my god how much would I be totally FREAKING OUT if I was pregnant in the middle of all this??!!
SERIOUSLY!!!!! If I were ever in the post-A I think my first order of business would be to get a hysterectomy before all the doctors died/medicine ran out!!
AHHHHH, whenever I think about post-A scenarios I think about my EYES and that I wear CONTACTS and that I’m basically BLIND! I need to get lasik before it’s too late!!!!!!
Or stockpile like 20 pairs of glasses!
I thought of that, too, because if there’s a post-A library and I CAN’T SEE to read, I’d die of boredom in the first 24 MINUTES.
OMG. I WEAR CONTACTS TOO. AND I DON’T OWN GLASSES. I AM SO DEAD. like, poverty-stricken district tribute at the cornucopia dead.
We near-blind peeps are gonna be OK in the post-A. Because now we know what we gotta do: ram our carts over to the optometrist’s. And flirt with cute eye docs, NOW!
I live close to the beach so I would probably be tsunami-d on day one, but if I somehow made it I’d probably be in denial at first. Like oh, the government will totally save us! Then realization would hit that we were on our own and I would really want a gun. Because people are scary.
Also, I would be SO NOT PREPARED. In fact, this book makes me want to prepare right now and stock up on canned foods and stuff. And get a gun. And watch some disaster movies and take notes.
People are WAY scary. I was wondering how Pfeffer kept the families so civilized: like, “Oh, we don’t talk about how much food we have,” but you KNOW someone would just pick up a gun and go crazy…Especially those houses with smoking chimneys. That’s a big effing clue: WE GOT WOOD! Pfeffer shows people ransacking empty houses, but if I were Crazy Person with Gun, I’d follow the smoke signals to Miranda’s casa fer sure.
I’m kind of behind you guys, but I’m freaking out a little! I’m to the point where they just got to the grocery store. :/
It’s okay to freak. I’m re-freaking, just by commenting and reading other comments! Post-A stuff scares me shizzless. But I read the book, like, three times. It really is excellent.
i identify more with dr. peter on the reality of the situation scale. so
i’d be way more afraid than miranda. i’d most likely jump to “omg we’re all going to die now!” as soon as i heard about the meteor heading towards the moon. and def after it hit the moon, i’d be in my car heading to walmart to hoard up on food and supplies.
and after i put all my supplies away, i’d fill the bathtub up with water just in case. that’s like survival 101 in my book and i can’t believe miranda’s mom didn’t do that at all.
Nice call on the bathtub of water! *scribbles notes for post-A survival list*
oh, yeah, man, bathtub full of water is Step One in Hurricane Preparedness at the Erin household. (Step Two, make sure you have flashlights, batteries, and lots of books on hand.)
Characters not seen, but def heard: THE PEEPS WHO VOLUNTEER FOR THE LIBRARY. Seriously cool call on Pfeffer’s part to include books in the post-A. Plus, I have something to aspire to, in case I’m not First to Die: Post-A Librarian. Since I don’t have a Masters in Library Science–and the world AS WE KNOW IT won’t let me be a librarian without one–I want to thank Pfeffer for giving me an end-of-the-world job.
This book made me want to buy cases and cases of chicken soup. Starving to death is more terrifying than zombies
“Starving to death is more terrifying than zombies” Who knew! But yeah, after eyeballing the cat while reading about Horton, I gotta agree. Scary shizz.
1) I’d have to say I’d be less afraid. There’s something about natural disasters that makes me just want to go into Save Everyone Around You/Survival/Ass-Kicking Mode. (It’s in the genes. Got it from Dad)
2) I’m a debbie downer, y’all. “That grey sky out there? That ain’t no grey shade pulled over the sky! That’s FRIGGIN ASH.” What I do for a living (*shakes fist at workplace*) constantly revolves around feeding people, things getting broken, and coming up with plan Bs, Cs, and Zs. My clients also include American Red Cross and hospitals so the info/statistic overload has me forced to be prepared at all times.
3) Yes, I’d tell her to stop freaking about the cleaning, too. LEAST OF OUR WORRIES, LADY.
4) Reaction to Megan — Oh goodness. I’d have a come to Jesus meeting with her pastor and then shake him. Reaction to Sammi — I would BEG her not to run off with 40 y/o George.
5) First, Hubs and I would stock up on non-perishables & other necessities (including books). We’d use the first 3 days to assess the situation (road conditions, weather, reports). Then, hopefully, we’d pick up the in-laws (after checking on rents overseas) and head to the farmland in central MO where MIL’s dairy-farming parents live.
And MOST IMPORTANTLY, I’d have to channel my inner Katniss Everdeen if anybody DARES mess with my family & food.
um, shabbygeek, you have just become my own personal will smith. in the post-A, I’M STICKING TO YOU LIKE GLUE, HONEY.
5) Correction. Pick up Posh D prior to heading for the cow country.
Also, something I thought about this morning as I was CLAWING AT MY LEGS…y’all, I’m so a goner with the whole mosquito situation. I could be standing outside in a field with 30 other people and no trees, and no one would get bitten except for me. I don’t know why this happens to ME. (Hubs thinks it might be because they think I’m chocolate)
Someone once told me that if I didn’t want mosquitos to bite me, I should hold my breath (they’re attracted to carbon dioxide). Clearly that will only work for four minutes, but maybe we could fashion you some sort of gas mask to wear?
FOUR MINUTES? You underestimate my lack in holding of breaths skills! Gas mask for sure!
Mosquitoes lurrrve me, too. And I’m a SCRATCHER. Can’t. Stop. Scratching! ACK!! I know appearances aren’t gonna be as big a deal in the post-A. But my scratch-scars ‘n’ scabs ain’t gonna have the Dans (or even Georges!) standing in line to share their Progresso.
I’m adding “channel Katniss” to my “prep for Apocolypse” list right now!
Okay, I’m late, but holy shizz!!! This book is stressing me out!!!!! I also totally just gorged myself on Sun Chips while I was reading, and now I have a stomach ache. I have always felt pretty prepared for the big A, due to my parents crazy basement stockpile for when the Russians were going to drop the bomb, but you know what? I don’t have a land line!!!!! This book has made me feel like I must get a land line immediately!!!! Aaaahhhh!
Um…Guys? I think this shizz about it get real.
http://hot.aol.com/2010/09/08/two-asteroids-pass-near-earth/?icid=main|aim|dl7|sec1_lnk3|169152
SADIE. WHY YOU GOTTA FREAK ME OUT LIKE THAT.
LOLZ! Cause no one else would freak out with me!