Comments on: Intense Analysis of “Eclipse Trailer” – in haiku form

By: porcelinajune

porcelinajune — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:54:07 +0000

Erin, I find your last comment funny as my friend and I call Jacob, Date Rape Jake due to his behavior in Eclipse.

Hilariousness all around!

By: Meghan

Meghan — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:54:02 +0000

HA this was AWESOME. i especially love the limerick and the first haiku. and WORD, poshd about the douchebagginess of jacob’s dudebro douchebaghood. a (super freaky) toddler … NICE.

By: Poshdeluxe

Poshdeluxe — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:04:57 +0000

unfortunately for jake, his ultimate form of dudebro is much worse than yr garden variety douchebag. because he doesn’t just hit on high school girls with fake ids, he hits on A FREAKING TODDLER.

sigh. RIP JORTS.

By: Erin

Erin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:28:45 +0000

Khaki Cargo Pants are how we can sartorially determine that Jacob is Growing Into A Man. Specifically, the type of man most commonly known as a dudebro, who hangs out at bars in Midtown and finds date rape to be an enjoyable pasttime.

By: John

John — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:29:38 +0000

I don’t know if I want to live in a world where Twilight movies are made without jorts. Really. Khaki Cargo Pants are the myspace to jorts’ facebook.

By: Poshdeluxe

Poshdeluxe — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:39:39 +0000

i know i need to let this go but… i CAN’T. like, we gave up jorts for KHAKI CARGO PANTS?!!!!!!! WTF IS HAPPENING?!!!!

hello, like anyone could be Team Khaki Cargo Pants? i’m still Team Jort through and through, no matter what this silly movie says.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:34:05 +0000

Goodbye, sweet….jorts.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:00:26 +0000

I, too, miss the jorts. I believe they lent credibility to the intensity of his performance…

By: Poshdeluxe

Poshdeluxe — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:54:39 +0000

ok, i just switched out the preview of the trailer with the actual trailer.

and now i only have one question: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JORTS?!! seriously, jacob, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM?

By: Brian Katcher

Brian Katcher — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:34:45 +0000

God, that’s hillarious.